A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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How do gay guys have sex with women?? They dont, they are gay.

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What did the black man do with the piece of bacon? He ate it.

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What's worse than aids? Super aids.

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How many Manatees does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, assuming Manatees have hands.

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What did the widow get for her birthday? Nothing from her husband.

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save water shower with friends

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whats the difference between a white kid a nd a puerto rican kid? one smells fine and the other one smells like he walked out of a butcher shop that sells cigars and cheap prostitutes

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Why could the red-haired boy sing higher notes than the blonde-haired boy? He was castrated at birth.

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What animal has four legs and one hand? Happy rottweiler

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who's that hot blonde at the disco? your mother.

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Why did the house burn down? Because I set it on fire.

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An apple a day keeps the doctor away. What about the vampires?

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What caused the Berlin Wall to come down? Gravity

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What do you call to guys who gave gave each other HIV? Blood-Brothers

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Your mama is so ugly that she tried out for America's Next Top Model and did not get in.

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A white guy, a black guy, and a spanish guy jump off a building. They all die on impact and their families mourn their loss for years to come.

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Why do basketball players wear bibs? They don't.

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What did the father say to his gay son? "Finish your homework."

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Four homosexuals walk into a bar. They notice that there's only one stool left at the bar itself. They sat at a table with four chairs. They had a delightful time.

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How do you kill a blonde? By inactivating major functions in the body, for example cutting off the blood supply to the brain.

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Why do birds fly south in winter? Because its too far to go walking.

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I dont have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Why is Dominic's nick name big D? Because the first letter in his name is D.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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