Nohypocondrism: When you feel fine and everyone keeps telling you you are a sick bastard. Charisma: Hey, that guy that changed my life killed the neighbor, cool rite? I mean that damn neighbor did say nothing to me when I said hi. Solitude: When the room is so overcrowded that you feel small and alone. I think that people that are jack of all trades and master of none are stupid... I AM JACK OF NO TRADES AND MASTER OF ALL! I am nothing, because nothing lives on forever, nothing is unbreakable, nothing is really awesome on a terrible day... I am also Nobody, because Nobody has more money than me.. FUUUUUUUU..

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what did the mexicans name their daughter? nothing. they were deported before they had a chance

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how do u keep a stupid person in suspense? how

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Why did the black man have to stand in the bus? All of the other seats were taken.

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Q: What did Tommy do when it was time to go to bed? A: Go to bed. Q:What did Tommy do when it was time to wake up? A: Kill him self.

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whats worse than hitler? Anti-Jokes By darragh hamilton

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What's good about freedom of speech? Only the idea. Try saying something about Muhammed or calling a cop a power-mad taxman.

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how many gay guys does it take to fix a blender? baby oil!

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Where can you find a Muslim with a boxcutter? At a UPS.

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How do you confuse a blond? Begin talking to her about a subject that's not in her field of expertise using complicated technical verbiage and jargon.

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What's worse than not receiving presents on Christmas Day? Being forced to consume your own flesh

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Why did the chicken cross the road. ... So he could be hit by a car.

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Why did sam and jolanda drop their pudding? They got hit by a flying tree.

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Why did people have cold showers in the old days? Because there was no electricity back then, making it hard to heat water to a temperature that was classified as 'warm'.

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Whats worse than swinging a dead baby by a rope? Stopping it with a shovel.

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what happened to Timmy when he fell off his bike? CANCER.

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When is a tree not a tree? When it's a rock.

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You wanna hear a funny joke? Sorry, but I'm really not a funny guy. Not a comedian, you know.

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Why did the farmer go to the market? Because his butt was on fire!

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Q: Why did the cookie go to the doctor? A: Because he had brain cancer.

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How do you know if your friend is dead? You shoot him in the face!

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wots brown and smells like shite shite

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Ask me if I'm a human! - Are you a human? No. The correct term would be a human being.

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As friend of mine recently told me that he knew my deepest darkest secret. When I asked him what it was, he said that I was too emotionally unstable, and that I would never be ready to settle down. I killed him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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