Ask me if I'm a tree... Are you a tree? No.

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Q: What's big, brown, and smell like crap? A: Turd.

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u know y blondes and tornadoes r so alike? first theres a lot of blowing and sucking, and then u lose ur house!

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Q: Why were the chicken and the cow friends? A: Because they shared common interests.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have narcolepsy.

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Why was the bully in detention? He punched a fellow classmate.

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What did the doctor say to the female car crash victim? Nothing she was dead when he walked in the room.

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You know what is not cool? Fire.

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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Everytime God shuts a door, he opens a window, at the 122th floor of a skyskraper.

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patty was in sunday school, the teacher asked her "patty who created the universe?" john sliped into the seat next to her and jabbed her with a pen "LORD ALMIGHTY" the teacher said' good patty now who gave himself for us? john again jabbed her with a pin "JESUS CHRIST" "that very good patty now what did mary say to joseph after they had their 23 child?" john jabbed her " IF YOU STICK THAT DAMN THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME ILL BREAK IT IN HALF!!!" the teacher fainted

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A termite walks into the pub and says "Is the bar tender here?"

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Q: How do you stop a rhino from charging? A: The construction of a steel-reinforced concrete wall will work in most instances, but for more resistant cases, the use of a high-impact titanium anti-rhino charging barrier is required.

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Why don't they sell pharmaceuticals in the rain forest? Because it is to sparsely populated and not economically viable.

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if u like this i wont pay you a dollar

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Roses are red pineapple is yellow I'll shove your head up my ass so you can eat some marshmallows!

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple.

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Knock knock Who's there My BUTTCRACK

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didnt it hit a poll and died of brain damage the next day

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What's the difference between an orange? A bycicle you fool, a vest doens't have sleeves

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what did the shark do when he died.....

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What came first the chicken or the egg? The chicken god made two of every animal

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knock knock Who's there Rick Rick who Your wife's boss she got into an on the job accident and will never walk again... I'm sorry but your insurance doesn't cover the injury.

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Why did the pineapple cry? It didn't, because it's a pineapple.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops