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Why do Iraqi women never sleep with American soldiers? Because Americans always talk about pulling out but they never do!

Knock Knock Who's there? Your mum, I've just raped her

what did the Alaskan homeless man get for Christmas? Death

Where does the Queen keep her armies? In various military bases across the country.

A guy walks into a bar. Yep.. that's it.

what did the mexicans name their daughter? nothing. they were deported before they had a chance

Pokemon go: Team mystic

Hey i heard you where cool wait that was opposite day ;)

A black guy, an asian guy, and a white guy jump off a cliff, who lands first? Well, newton's first law states that every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. So it depends on who weighs the most.

Knock Knock Who's there? ... No one, you have Schizophrenia

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

Q: What do you do when you find a black man bleeding from a bullet wound on your front porch? A: Call an ambulance! He may only have minutes to live before he bleeds to death! Hurry!

You know that Duck song on youtube? I dont get it... ducks cant talk...

How do you get a one armed man to fall out of a tree? Wave.

What is brown and sticky? A stick.

A worm slowly crawled through the ground, only to be eaten by an incoming bird.

Why did the Monkey Fall out of the tree? ..It was dead..

what do you get when you cross a rhino and a chicken? well, if you're unlucky and too close too the chicken, salmonella if you provoke the rhino, impaled

why am i so pretty? because god blessed me with good looks

Q: What do you call 5,000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A: A tragedy worse than 9/11.

Roses are black, violets are black, we are all black Shit i'm colour blind

Your mother is so stupid that she has trouble discerning certain facts from fiction.

Why did the man laugh when he saw someone using a shake weight? He remembered Dane Cook's stand up preformance from the night before.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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