A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know. Chickens are incapable of communicating with humans and thus the intent of the chicken can only be speculated.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q. What's louder than one dinosaur? A. A whole bunch of dinosaurs.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

dick in your mouth just kidding haaaaaa

thumb_up thumb_down -8

My friend asks me what my mom does for a living and i told him that she is a nurse. Then he says "That a good job because she is able to save lives". I quickly reply "She works in an abortion clinic".

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Guess What! HI!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's the difference of 13 and 4? 9

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's the difference between a duck

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the apple say to the apple? Nothing, they're apples.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q: What has 1 eye and half of a pig's snout? A: A pig peeking around a corner.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How do you spell eight? 8

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the kid fall off the swing? He had no legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's the difference between vanilla ice cream and vanilla ice cream with chocolate chips? Neither one has vanilla ice cream in it except for both of them.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How you do stop a baby from swinging around on the clothesline? Hit it with a shovel.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

a boy says hi.The girl says bye. The boy starts to cry.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A man walks into a bar. He is genetically predisposed to alcoholism, and it's destroying his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

why did billy drop his ice cream? he got hit by a plane that a loaf of bread was driving

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? A fat man fell on him

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q: How many years does it take for a deer to grow into a moose? A: 7

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Stephen Hawking raped your mom

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A man walks up to an attractive woman and asks "Is it hot in here, or is it just you?" The woman replies "No, it's hot in here. It is a record breaking 114 degrees outside, which means everybody is using their air conditioner. Due to the large amount of energy air condioners require, the power has gone out in this building and the air conditioner is not functional. The tempurature in the building is 103 degrees and three children are in the emergency room because of heat stroke."

thumb_up thumb_down -12

text this number 2066191208 saying i wanna rape you

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A seal walks into a club...and is taken in custody by animal control due to the club having a no animal policy.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops