John: Hey Bill, ORANGE you in the mood to go to a Phillies game? Bill: Yes! So let's make like a banana and raise our potassium levels drastically and leave right away to beat the rush hour traffic.

How old are you? 20

MILEY CYRUS: ONLY GOD CAN JUDGE ME! ME: O GOD CALLED HE SAID YOUR A HOE TO

why are black people so good at basketball? Because they can shoot steal and run and they keep brass knuckles in there waste band.

A man runs into a bar. He is instantly knocked out.

lets have sex, ok, but itll have to be anal, cuz im a guy xoxox danni

Knock knock! Who's there? Elton. Elton who? Elton John

Why is the apple mushy? Because a car ran over it.

A duck walked up to a lemonade stand and he said to the man running the stand hey! Got any guns

Kah-________-

why do black people hate chainsaws? the noise they make- run nigga nigga run nigga nigga run nigga nigga

How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? It shouldn't take more than one person to do this task, regardless of hair color.

whats beter than a dead pile of babies? the alive one that has to eat its way out

How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? None.

What did the black kid call the white kid? His name...

Why do matt Daly jokes suck? Because he has Downs.

why was little jimmy sad? he had a frog stapled to his mouth why did little jimmy drop his ice cream cone? he got hit by a bus why did little jimmy fall of the swingset? he didnt have any arms what did little jimmy want for Christmas? parents what did he get for Christmas? cancer knock knock whos there? not jimmy

A marine biologist is captured by a group of violent pirates. After hours of being tortured, the pirates make him walk the plank. As he is pushed on to the plank, they ask him for his one last request. He responds "Kill yourselves." The pirates proceed to stab themselves until they bleed out and the marine biologist is the last man on the boat.

What's Casey Anthony doing now that she's not in prison? She's actually living life as an upstanding citizen in Florida.

What is hotter than two girls making out? The Sun.

whats funny? laughing at people when they die a slow and painful death.

What do you call a Muslim taking control of an airplane? A pilot. -Tag

Why did the elephant cross the road? The chicken was on vacation.

What starts with P and ends with O-R-N Porn.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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