100% of smokers die 100% of people die I am tied to a tree

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on the front porch? Matt What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a hole? Phil What do you call a man with no arms and no legs floating down the river? Bob

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Whats the difference between ice cream and dead babies? I'm not eating ice cream right now.

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q: why do mens testicles hang? a: so woman can kick us in em

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What do you call a man will dementia who just killed his cousins, wife, children, and teacher. His name. He's still a man until he's put in a mental institution.

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I did your mom..... A favor..... By making you..... A sandwich...... With mustard.....

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Why was the black man a victim of racial prejudice? because he was black

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Hey I just met you And this is crazy But I am pregnant And it's your baby

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A horse cantered into a bar.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

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Why did the old man wander into the highway? He hated his life.

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Why did the child die? Natural causes.

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Chuck Norris walks into a bar. Everybody leaves except Michael Jackson. Michael Jackson never walked out alive

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Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana, Jack got high, pulled down his fly, and asked Jill if she wanna. Jill said yes, pulled up her dress, and had a little fun. But stupid Jill forgot the pill, and now they have a son

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Why did the man not make any change at his job? Because he is Barack Obama.

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yo mama is so old i told her to act her own age and she told me to shut up and get out of her house.

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1. In 2010, 8.8 million people fell ill with Tuberculosis. 2. Up to 70,000 children died in 2010 due to Tuberculosis. 3. Tuberculosis is the leading killer of people living with HIV with 1.4 million deaths. 4. Death from Tuberculosis has dropped 40% since 1990. 5. No country has ever eliminated Tuberculosis entirely. 6. About 46 million Tuberculosis patients have been successfully treated since 1995. 7. Children under 5 years old rarely get the disease. 8. Edgar Allen Poe’s mother, foster mother, and wife all died of Tuberculosis. 9. It can take up to 12 months to recover from Tuberculosis. 10. People with tuberculosis have symptoms such as cough that “won’t go away”, a cough that brings up blood, a fever lasting longer than 2 weeks, night sweats, fatigue, or noticeable amounts of acute weight loss. 11. Nearly 2 million people die from tuberculosis yearly. 12. Tuberculosis kills 5,000 people daily.

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What's worse than a needle in a hay stack? A needle in a stack of drug addicts.

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What did the gun say to the pencil? Draw

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Why didn't the boy buy his mom a gift for Christmas? He was killed by a drunk driver two years ago

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Mmmmmmmmbutch

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a horse walks into a bar the bartender says"what can i get for you Sarah Jessica Parker"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Someone threw birdseed.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything's black, I'm Blind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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