an englishman an irishman and a scotsman walked into a bar there was no welshman. they didn't phone him due to his uncontrollable thirst for violence

Farts smell bad!

What do you call a dog that's half poodle, half bulldog? A dog.

Question: What did one lesbian say to the other lesbian at the grocery store? Answer: Will that be paper or plastic?

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Cancer

say this really fast D I C K, C H I C K, C H I C K, D I C K, D I C K, C H I C K, C H I C K, D I C K, D I C K, C H I C K, D I C K, C H I C K, C H I CK, D I C K IF YOU CANT LIKE IT

A horse walk into the bar, the bar tender asked, why the long face the horse unable to understand English takes a shit and walk away.

How did the girl die? 25.

A blond, a brunette, and redhead are trapped on an island. They all try to swim across shark infested waters to the mainland. While they're swimming, the blond turns to the redhead and says, "This water is mildly cold." The redhead replies "Yeah."

Ask me if i'm a tree... "Are you a tree?".... No

joe diragi makes paul look straight

Why couldn't the man speak any English? Because not everyone can.

What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? A= Were both lawyers! What happens every sixty seconds in the us? A= a minute passes!

Why don't they sell aspirin in the jungle? Because it is not financially viable to sell pharmaceuticals in a largely unpopulated area.

What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike with no handle bars or pedals.

What did the duck say to the mouse? Quack!

What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a women. Statutory rape.

The mighty wizard said "come fourth cowardly lion and receive bravery" but he came fifth and got absolutely nothing. Todo came fourth and got the bravery.

How do you keep a puppy warm? You throw it in the fire...

Kumquats, daffodils, and potato salad.

A man walks into a bar. He then meets some friends and has a rather enjoyable night.

Why did Kelly never see Wass? cus she never looked in right places !!!

Two women were sitting together, quietly.

do you want to hear a joke 123456789 987654321 boo!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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