Why did the man get thrown out of the cinema? The man began to masturbate. He was also blind.

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Whats worse than a Worm in Your Apple? Being raped

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Why did the train crash? Because the conductor was a cucumber.

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There was once a simple man. His life was far from what could be described as extravagant, living alone in a dingy apartment full of leaking taps and insects and lacking a working refrigerator. He wasn't an ungrateful man but he often wondered why life was cruel to him and prayed every night for something magical to happen, whether it be a brand new life, or even something simple like a new fridge. One fateful late afternoon as he staggered along the dim backstreet, partially crippled and pained from his standard day of labour, he came across a brass lamp just laying in the street. Glancing around, the man bent down to pick it up, knowing very well the story of the genie in the lamp having just watched Aladdin the previous night. Peering into its dull surface, he saw eyes staring back at him, eyes he didn't recognise. Anxiously, he ran his hands over the surface of the lamp, feeling the coolness of the metal on his rough blistered hands. But nothing happened! Disappointed but desperate for his dreams to be fulfilled, the man frantically shook the lamp, tears streaming down his face, wonder how life could be so cruel. Then a fridge fell out of the lamp and crushed him and he died the end.

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weiner? balls

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Six million.

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That dress looks amazing on you considering how fat you are.

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How do you make a black man cry? Stab his wife.

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how big is a midgets dick? i dont know but probably bigger then mine

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What is brown and sticky? The substance used to line your stomach when getting your stomach pumped.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? I don't remember the rest of the joke but your mom's a whore.

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Why did the blonde put tip-ex on the computer screen? To spite her physically abusive husband

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black people

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Where did Sheyanne go during the bombing...... Everywhere

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Whats the best way to get a woman to sleep with you? Rape her

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How do you stop a bus? Throw small children in front of it. Except it didn't work for the boy with ice cream.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? A cannibal. WHAT?! You are about to die and be eaten.

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why is santa so jolly? hes not hes a fictional character made up by our parents imagination

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Why did the woman walk into the men's clothing store? She's a lesbian. Why did the man walk into the womens clothing store? He had to buy his mom a birthday present.

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Why did the black man cry? He had no rights.

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what's the hardest part about microwaving a baby? holding the camera and masturbating

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a person cries in the corner you go over to them and rape them

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What's harder than nailing a baby to a tree? My penis whilst im doing it.

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What do you call a whore? Kelsey cook duh

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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