How did the bald lady die? Of cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Contrary to popular statement, "When life hands you lemons, make lemonade," you technically can't do this because of the need for water and sugar to make lemonade. Secondly, life can't technically hand you lemons because life isn't a physical thing that can hand you lemons. So really, you don't even have to worry about the second two ingredients.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Knock knock. Who's there? James. James who? You know, from across the road? But where's the punchline? This isn't a joke. Isn't it? No. Can you still add a punchline? OPEN THE DOOR!

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A fat boy walked into a party

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's worse than a giant paint bubble? TWO GIANT PAINT BUBBLES!

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did the boy do when he was bored and broke? He took to the streets selling illicit drugs such as cocaine. Although dangerous, the rush from said danger solved his boredom problem. On top of this, there is a huge market for such substances and he was not broke for much longer.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q- Why was Dan mourning the death of his wife? A- He wasn't he was mourning the death of his daughter who was killed in the same car crash as her mother.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you call a helicopter above Hawaii? A helicopter.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What smells like marjuana and is black? A black man smoking weed

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? Because she was blind and deaf.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

dear GIRLS, roses are red violets are blue faces like yours belong in the zoo don't be mad i will be there too not in the cage but laughing at u .

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did my son fall off of his bicycle? Because I hit him with a steak.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What is the square root of 69? 8.306623863

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Oprah is black and the richest women in the world!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +17

BOOBIES!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +17

If you're a man, why don't you want to drop the soap in prison? The shower floors are disgusting and carry bacteria. No way would any person -- man or woman -- want to touch it.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Where did Sally go when the bomb hit her? All over. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally

thumb_up thumb_down +17

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Q. On a scale of 1-100, how immature are you? A. 69.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Tennesse

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did my penis cross the road? To get to the other vagina.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Do you need any assistance?

thumb_up thumb_down +15

PENlS.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

why was the Jewish child sad? He was recently abandoned by all his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops