Why don't women need watches? Because they have clocks on their cell phones because they have jobs outside of the house and are INDEPENDENT WOMEN! MEN DO NOT DEFINE THEM!

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Where does piglet look for Pooh? The hundred acre forest, you creep.

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How many Amish people does it take to change a light bulb? None because they don't believe in technology.

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What did the homeless man get for christmas? NOTHING, he died.

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Why was the baby crying? Because a tree fell on its legs.

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The Bible

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Why did the chicken cross the road. Because, It can't fly

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Why did the tree cross the road? A woman crashed into it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No particular reason. It probably wasn't even aware the the ground it was crossing is what's termed as a road.

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Steven bought an apple And then he went home and fed it too his pet Jim (he was a fish and then sadly died from being overfed)

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If through some strange space-time paradox, Chuck Norris ever had to fight himself, Chuck Norris would-- What am I saying, that would never happen!

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How do you piss off a female archeologist? Kill her dog.

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how did the turtle die? it drowned itself

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Why do showers in Germany have 11 holes? Because a regular human on has 10 fingers.

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The funniest tragedy in his young life...wasn't funny.

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A 36 year old Canadian woman.

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What looks like a jew, smells like a jew, but claims he isn't jewish? Fletcher Phillips

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The horse said "nay."

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I can't stand 9/11 jokes Their just plane wrong!

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Did you hear about the man who didn't get a burger with his meal?! Yes he is doing quite well on his diet don't you agree?

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Knock Knock... Who's there... .....................

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What did the old man say? Nothing he was so old he died.

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What did the scientist have to say about religion when he was asked by a local reporter? He said that it is a cultural system that creates powerful and long-lasting meaning, by establishing symbols that relate humanity to truths and values.

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WOMAN! I am not a sweetheart at the core, I am slightly sweet on the outside and really really dark and cruel on the inside, so I can trick people into loving me before I consume them! Anyway, sure, I will get to it, first thing when I wake up, like 8 hours from now okay? Moral: Seriously? Are you hoping to see a sweetheart at my core?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops