Why do gorillas have big nostrils? Have you seen the size of their fingers!?!?!

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What did Grandma give her grandson Billy for Christmas? Scarring memories of sexual abuse.

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What did the blind, deaf rabbit get for Easter? . . . Eaten by a by a lion.

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"hey those pancakes look pretty good." "thats a cat steve."

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was A bear. Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy Wuzzy went through chemo. Fuzzy Wuzzy wasn't very fuzzy was he?

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why couldnt the gay man marry??? cause he was dead.

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According to astronomy, when you wish upon a star, you're actually a few million years late. That star is dead. Just like your dreams.

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A bar walks into a bar, it is then you realize you are in an alternate dimension.

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Why did the girl fall off the swings? Because she has no arms Why can't she get back up? Because she has no legs Why won't anyone help her up? Because she's a woman.

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two guys are waiting at a train station...6 hours later one guy turns to the other and says "train aint coming"

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

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See you ******* dogface! All right? You're a compulsive *********** sit on that swivel! Stop swearing!

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Two women were sitting quietly.

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Q: what's red and goes up and down? A: a tomato in an elevator

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How many Grand Jurists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Depends on if it was a cop that snuffed out the light bulb.

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Adolf Hitler was a humanitarian.

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A man with tourettes walks into a bar, due to his disease he shouts unexpected profanities across the room; everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the pressure anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom and pulls out a gun and points it at his head. HIs wife of 15 years walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to conceive. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man diagnosed with touretts then goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. After he killed everybody he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentanced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man with touretts still cannot control his ticks and rots in jail everyday screaming obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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What do you call a man that likes fishsticks? His name

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What did the scientist say to the postman? So your a postman?

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what did the ruler say to the other ruler your a ruler

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Do you know what a deaf guy says to a blind guy? God told me you'll see your path.

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Ask me if I'm a tree Are you a tree? No.

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what do you call cheese that isn't yours? cheese.

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i hate it when Voldemort showers in my nutella

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops