What happens when you are caught in the serious offense of killing somebody with intent? You get in trouble.

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A drunk guy walks into a bar and falls flat on his back. Upset, he then finds a bathroom. An hour later he is arrested for beating off in the bathroom. off is pressing charges.

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What do you call a pelican with no wings? A dead pelican

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A man walks into a bar with a monkey. I forgot the rest but you mom is a whore

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Your momma is so boss that I work for her.

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Q: why did suzy fall off the swing? A: she had no arms. Knock knock. Q: who's there? A: not suzy!

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Hey, I just met you And this is crazy, but you're getting too close And I'm about to file a restraining order, so back up, maybe?

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what is a big jar and has a human in it? A human in a jar.

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I like my women like I like my coffee... Without a penis.

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Women's Rights

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Q: How many dead people does it take to change a light bulb? A: Trick question...i have sex with them in the dark

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what do you call an asian flying a plane? a pilot

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What's the difference between black people and dog shit? One of them eventually turns white and stops smelling.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Boo. Oh hey man, you got the meth?

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What's worse than failing out of high school? Finding out your mom has cancer.

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A black man is packing heat while driving his car. He is a police officer

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9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape

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Time flies like a banana.

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So I'm balls deep in this turkey dinner....... then i proceed to ejaculate into it and ruin my family's Thanksgiving along with their perception of me.

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whats pink and fluffy pink fluff

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Wife: Do you know what the most untruthful lie I've told you? Husband: What? Wife: That I love you. By the way I'm leaving you for your father. The twins are gay and in love with each other and your daughter is a hooker with AIDS. Your mother killed herself upon hearing all this news. She suffered a lot. Oh, the dog died by rat poisoning that your dad put in the backyard. Bye.

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What's white and comes out of a long black stick? Milk with a long black straw.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Dick! Dick who? Dick Stewart, your neighbor from next door!

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Why Was a guy wearing Pink pants? Because He Was Gay.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops