Scenario: 2 guys with big feet and a camels Anus are hiking on Mount Everest with a set of elephants dildos Man 1: what's the difference between a Volkswagen and a clock? Man 2: what? Man 1: you can't toboggan of a green house roof with a tub of Vaseline and a ostrich party on lady gaga's Anus

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was suicidal.

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21

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Women's Rights

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Why did the boy bump into a pole. He was sleep-walking with his eyes closed.

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What's worse than a dead baby? A dead puppy.

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A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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Why don't women wear watches?...Because the economy is at an all-time low and it would be reasonable to presume that a person couldn't afford an item like this, thus, trying to budget in a watch that could cost anywhere from 50-100$ would be a risky financial move depending on their yearly salary.

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WNBA

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Why does Magic Johnson always use extra large condoms? Because he's got a giant dick and HIV.

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a carrot walks into a bar, carrots cant walk for they do not have legs.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead.

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why can't Helen Keller drive? because she's a women

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I went to the doctors the other day for a check up and the doctors says to me "sorry your going to have to stop wanking" and I say to him " what! Why?" and the doctor says "I'm trying to examine you".

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, WTF is this, i gotta take a piss.

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How come Jimmy didn't take his math test? Dead babies can't take math tests!

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Where did John go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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Two blonds are racing. Who wins? The first one to pass he finish line.

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Why did the girl hang up on her boyfriend? Because the roof collapsed on her.

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A kid goes to the doctor and orders a salad. The doctor replies, "This is a smoking-free environment". The kid puts out his cigar and goes to Olive Garden to get his physical.

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Why couldn't the cow move? It had Cystic Fibrosis.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Whos there? NOT SALLY.

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Canada

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Don't you hate it when you're reading a sentence and it doesn't end how you testicles. _._._

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops