What's worse; twelve babies in one trash can or one baby in twelve trash cans?

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What did the soldier get for his birthday? Shot in the face.

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What mouse walks on two legs? Mickey Mouse. What bear walks on two legs? Winnie the Pooh. What duck walks on two legs? All of them, dumbass.

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Why did the boy stop singing? Because his lungs collapsed.

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Q: What does a psychic have in common with a stone? A: The bible decrees that psychics are witches and should be stoned and something topical about the stone.

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Why did the chicken cross the road So he could get back to the farm and lay more eggs

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What's the difference between a panda and a baby? I don't have a baby in my freezer

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Why did the bird fall out of the sky? It had no wings.

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What do you do when you see a hot girl in your bed

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A black man walks into a bar in an all white neighborhood. He has a couple of drinks, pays for them, and politely calls a taxi for a ride home.

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A horse and a penguin and a kangaroo come into a bar and order drinks from the bartender, who later gets fired for taking acid while working.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was getting chased by nazis.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse says "my wife has cancer"

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Why did the black man go to Jail? He was visiting his friend!

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What did the milk bottle say to the other milk bottle? Nothing. Bottles can't talk you silly goose.

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I have a little dog. She likes being tossed high into the air. I need a new little dog as the last one was caught by a gust carrying here over the sound-dividing highway wall and dropped into traffic.

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How could Jamie not come out and play? His mum had cancer

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What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

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Why was the fat man crying? He was sentenced to the electric chair for a murder he didn't commit.

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What's brown and sticky? A lump of shit.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Not your grandma! Cause she's dead! Come to the funeral

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When life throws you lemons, Throw grenades.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He realized he was in the ghetto

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Whats the difference between a soccer ball and a baby? Babies cry when I kick them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops