a man walked into a bar. the bartender asked why he was annoyed. he answered " people keep on telling this joke and I'm tired of the making me get drunk

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How do you stop a lumberjack? You thrust a javelin through his lungs

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why did Sallt fall off the swings? she had no arms knock knock who's there not Sally

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What do you call a black man driving a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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Why did the naked blonde crossed the road? Because she a man

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Why did the mexican go back to mexico? He grew up there

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Yo Mama so ugly I don't know how she found your dad.

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A man dies from a cat attack. he goes up to heaven. At the gates, St. Peter asks him, " how did you die sir?" The man doesn't reply so Peter says, "cat got your tongue?" "No," he says, "cat got my throat!"

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What's worse than eating spinach? Dying.

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Whet doesn't kill you, probably will next time.

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What do you get when you cross a rhino and a whale? Comment your answer:

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What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the Pacific Ocean? Sploosh

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You walk into a plane full of Arabs talking about how much they hate America. You arrive at your destination enlightened about the problems in American society.

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My grandma has this joke where she says "knock knock." I say "who's there?" She says "I can't remember" and starts to cry

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What is the sun's favorite day of the week? The sun is a mass of incadescent gas and cannot feel emotions; therefore, it cannot have a favorite day of the week.

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What's the best thing about twenty three year olds? there are twenty of them

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why did the guy laugh at everything he was high

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There is a asian, mexican and a blonde boy at school. Every day they each get the same food for lunch. The asian always got noodles. The mexican a taco. the blonde boy got pb and j. They decide if they get this lunch again, they will jump off a cliff. The next day they get the same lunch and jump off a cliff. At their funeral the asian mom says " if i had known, i would have made her sushi." the mexican mom says " i would have made her a burrito." The blonde's dad say "hey don't look at me, he makes his own lunch."

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What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other? Whatever her name is.

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Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7,8,9

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What's Black,White and red all over? A black person with a skin disease on her period.

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Why do showers have 11 holes? Because Jews only have 10 fingers

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What do you call a kid with one leg and an eye patch? Names

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Its not a big mistake at all, if people do not want to get hypnotized you cant hypnotize them, or so I thought...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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