How do you get a slave to stop screaming from the rope he is hanging on? You stop messing around and you hang him already!

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Jennifer Kim... having a boyfriend!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

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What did the chubby, dirty, hobo get for Christmas? Cancer

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A black man, a chinese man, and a dog decide to have a race. Unfortunately, they are shot by a sniper on a roof while still in the planning stages.

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How do you keep the crime rate down in a black neighborhood? Blow everybody up all at one time.

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Bill: My vagina is itchy. Tom: You don't have a vagina. It was later found out that bill had a sex change and did have an itchy vagina, due to an STI. He later died of cancer.

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What do you call a spider with no legs? A spider.

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homosexual rights to marriage

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why did the boy fall off his bike? because his mum through a fridge at him

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How can you tell the difference between Brooke Colbert or any other girl Jesse has been with? It's easy, Brooke the only one Jesses ever been with. They even share the same bra size.

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if you write treehouse backwards it spells gullible.

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what did the jew say to the other jew in WWII?..... "We're both going to die."

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Knock Knock? Why did you just say knock knock just ring the doorbell

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whats worse than finding 10 dead baby's in 1 garbage can... finding 1 dead baby's in 10 garbage can

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Once there was a giant Pringle. His family was dead, his wife committed suicide. So one day he was walking to work, when he met a genie! The genie granted him three wishes. The Pringle's first wish was to have lots of money. His second wish was to have his wife back. Before he could complete his wishing, he awoke in a hospital where he was hooked up to life support and was in severe pain. His wife wasn't really dead, but he was out drinking and accidentally walked across a motorway and got hit by a huge lorry.

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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A red and blue penguin are taking showers. The red penguin can't find the soap so he yells down the hall to the blue penguin "Hey, where is my soap?" The blue penguin replies, "What do I look like a typewriter?"

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? depends on how hard you throw them

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How did the failing slut get an A -she studied really hard

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johnny goes to the shops asks the lady at the counter, can i go home The Lady says ..... Buy one get one free

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A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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So mind telling me why you wont call me? And why, you know... Are you avoiding this condition of yours?

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What is green and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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