How did Harry potter open the door? He had the key

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whats red and brown and goes about 30mph? a squirrel in a blender.

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Q) What did one chicken say to the other? A) Nothing. Chickens can't talk.

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What did the child molestor do? He went home and molested children.

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Is it closer to Minneapolis, or by bus?

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Roses are red violets are blue make me a sandwhich so i can eat it

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Q. Whats brown and sticky? A. Poo

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How do you stop a cat from urinating on your floor? Shoot it.

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Ask me Whats 2+2. ? Ok what's 2 plus 2 4 you dumb ass

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your friend: i did ur mom you: jokes on u my moms gross friend:.....

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Why did the fat person build a lift in his house? He was caring for his terminally ill mother which has a cancer and got both her legs amputated due to the cancer spreading to her legs.

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Why is it so hard to cook vegetables? The wheel chair won't fit in the oven.

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Anti jokes are stupid Anti jokes are dumb I'm a pedophile, You better run.

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What did the prizon cell mate get for christmas. Herpes!

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what has 2 legs and no eyes? A decapitated cat with only its lower half remaining

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What did the black guy, the Mexican guy, and the Chinese guy have for lunch? A sandwich

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How did the guy feel after his wife died? Pretty shitty, I'd imagine..

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Why did the 80 year old man lose his vision? Because he recently blew his head off.

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Why cant African children read? While there are many contributing factors the largest would probably be the lack of a standardized education system mainly due to the logistical factors involved in reaching so many wide spread communities. Also the current economic climate and general disregard for civilians by the governments in these area would suggest that the states' focus would be on other issues besides the welfare of their citizens, this is probably similar to other countries in similar situations such as middle eastern, eastern european, and latin and south america. Then again, not really being educated on this issue in almost any way, has probably contributed to a broad generalization, and so the premise of this joke is most likely flawed in any case.

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what do you call a black man sleeping on a park bench at 2 in the morning? Homeless

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What did 4 Year Old Jonny get for his birthday? Death.

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Three construction workers, an Italian guy, a Mexican guy, and a American guy are sitting on top of a building eating lunch. The Italian is tired of eating meatballs, the Mexican is eating a burrito, and the American is eating a cheeseburger. They are all fed up with eating the same lunch every day. The next day they all jump off the building for unrelated reasons. It is a tragedy and their families mourn the loss.

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Two muffins are sitting on a counter. One muffin says to the other "hello." The other muffin says "Oh my god a talking muffin!"

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Why was the black man pulled over on his way to KFC? Because he ran a red light.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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