Q: why did the dog fall down the stairs? A: Because I pushed him down.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? The answer is not definitive and involves several factors including the size of the woodchuck, the woodchuck's teeth, the climate in which that woodchuck lives, and the tenacity of that particular woodchuck at achieving his goal.

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Q: Why did the man eat the banana? A: Cuz he was hungry!

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Roses are grey. Violets are a different shade of grey. Let's go chase cars. -Dog

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a bmw? I don't have a bmw in my garage.

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What's the best thing about twenty three year olds? there are twenty of them

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Your mom is so fat her daily calorie intake is dangerously above the recommended 2000 per day.

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How many babies does it take to paint a fence? depends on how hard you throw them.

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Chuck Norris was dropped twice when he was a baby, once on concrete and once on hardwood

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What color is Michael Jackson? Pale because he's dead.

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why did bob eat the cookie? because he was hungry

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What do you get when you pull down your pants in public? Most likely a criminal record for indecent exposure.

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Q:Why did the boy drop his ice cream? A: A terrorist threw a refrigerator at him then slapped the ice cream out of his hand

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Carlos was on the computer writing anti-jokes. They all scuked.

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"How high are you?" "I don't know, sir." "Well, look at the god damn altimeter."

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how do you confuse a blonde? tap her on both shoulders

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Who's Juan? DIS ONE

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Q: Wanna hear a dirty joke? A: A kid fell in the mud.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Santa Santa who? Imwatching you!

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I hear eating an apple a day keeps the other apples in check.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Sunflowers are yellow, Daises are white.

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What more fun than a barrel full of monkeys? A barrel of dead babies

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Why did the black man bleed to death? He was stabbed, but he bled to death because his doctor had just prescribed him some blood-thinners for his serious headaches.

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A man walks into a bar, furious that his son had been knocked down by a car and was now in hospital with a fractured leg and concussion. Another man, who sits on a stool at the end of the bar, is playing with his drink and wondering if his wife had made a chicken curry, since she said she would for tonight's dinner.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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