Q: How do you do to get an elephant down from a tree? A: Wait for the fall when the leaves start falling you shoot it down.

An englishman, an irishman and a scotsman walked into a bar. They were all lawyers out on lunch break and happened to walk into the same building. They laughed about the coincidence over the a drink

A man walks into a Library.... And asks for a book.

Why didn't Jane go to school last Thursday? It was summer. No one went to school last Thursday.

Whats included in over 90% of all car crashes? A Car

What's brown and smells like paint? -Poop. I don't know why it smells like paint though..

whats worse then getting a parking ticket? the plague

Why did the guy lose the race? Because he had explosive diarrhea

Did you hear about the guy that had his entire left side cut off? He's all right now. Dead but all right.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm not good at rhyming turd

Why did all the boys come to my yard? Because of My milkshakes

How to make deep fried chicken. Step 1: Go to your local swimming pool. Step 2: Throw a dead chicken into the deep end. Step 3: Strike the chicken with lightning. Step 4: Remove your newly fried chicken. Enjoy!

What's worse than being dead? Nothing.

Yo momma so fat shes eating right now

What mouse walks on two legs? Mickey Mouse. What bear walks on two legs? Winnie the Pooh. What duck walks on two legs? All of them, dumbass.

What did the black kid get for Christmas? An X-box, a sweater and some socks.

Why did the teacher fall on her face? She was shot in the back of her head.

there are two muffins in an oven one muffin says "whoa, its hot in here!" the other says nothing, because it is a muffin, and the other muffin, in reality, said nothing either.

Your mom is so ugly she often finds it difficult attracting members of the other sex.

What's worse than burning your tongue drinking hot chocolate? Being shanked by a homeless man.

dylan wishes he could come up with funny jokes. but that is impossible for a man trying to bat with a .5inch ****

What do you call two spaniards talking in French. Bilingual.

a man walks into the doctors office and says DOCTOR!, DOCTOR! IT HURTS TO BEND MY LEG!!! the doctor replies then dont bend your leg and the mans great pain eventually heals

why did the boat sink the captain drove it into a pile of sharp rocks

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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