How many Japanese people does it take to make a whirlpool? - None, because they're all dead.

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You wake, and up for a second you are dazed. Then you open your eyes slowly because you are afraid of what is to come. You then remember oh right I had a sleepover at john smith's house.

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What happens if you fall of a cliff You die

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Whats slower than molasses? Slightly thicker molasses.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm not good at rhyming turd

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what do you call an animal thats black and white and red all over? an elephant

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What do you get when you see a black man writing? A man devoted to getting a education.

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"Good Morning, I'm Dr. Pepper" "Like the drink?" "Huh... yes... just like the drink" Would you mind to sit right here Mr..... "Nike" "Oh, just like the shoes" "How do you dare!"

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What did the man say when he walked into a bar? Nothing because he got knocked out because he was running too fast and hit his head.

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Can you spot the polar bear Probably not because global warming killed it

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Knock knock. Who is there? The FBI. They have a warrant for your arrest.

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A black man, a gay man, and an Asian woman are sitting at a bar. The black man gets a phone call, and after the call all three of them are excited because they are all friends and the black man just got into a good college.

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Why did the goat cross the street? It was running away from the Tsunami

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Yar! What be a pirate's favorite football team? The Steelers. I'm originally from Pittsburgh.

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"My father walked out on me." "Oh that's strange because I saw him yesterday and he had no legs."

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What's more epic than a man in a gorilla suit? A man i a gorilla suit with a banana.

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Female Orgasms

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I man walks into a bar. He orders a drink, takes around 13.5 minutes to drink it, then walks out. It takes him 10.7 minutes to walk home, 2.8 minutes less than he spent in the bar. When he is home, he decides to have a bath. 7.8 minutes into bathing, a radio plugged into an outlet near his tub falls into the water with him and he is killed. 29 miles away a woman sneezes twice.

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What did the white man say to the black man that was very interested in the story he had to tell? Cool Story bro, tell it again!

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Three black men was in a car. They were going on holiday.

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says: "I forgot to store nuts for winter, now i am dead."

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say it ten times fast: oh

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What's the best part about having sex with twenty eight year olds? They've reached sexual peak but aren't yet past it. Plus, they still aren't in their 30's.

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The 80's called. They need their couch back.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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