Why did the monk shave his head? So he's more aerodynamic.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? I don't know what they said, but one muffin, had a knife.

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A horse, a duck, a pig, and a muslim walk into bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the muslim has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in chicago. The bartender reminds the muslim that he is keeping company with a swine, and the muslim feels offended for the poor horse.

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Why was the dentist sent to jail? Because he committed a crime.

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An ant tries to climb and sit on a tube. It couldn't. Do you get it? … I don't either.

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What is a pirates favorite crime? Piracy, which is still a serious problem in today's society.

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How many midgets does it take to change a light bulb? If you do the math, it's probably one.

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A man and a woman walk into a bar... They both die from cerebral hemorrhages.

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Q: why do orphans always go hard? A: because the can never go home.

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Q: how do you get a clown off a swing? A: You hit it with a axe

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Katy perry isn't on clould nine because it's physicaly impossible to stand on water persipitation.

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How many cows does it take to swim on land? 4.2

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What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other? Whatever her name is.

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what looks, smells, and sounds like red paint? blue paint, I lied about it being red

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how did sally die? she starved because she cant get in to get the nuggets.

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What do you call thousands of people running through london? The marathon

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Why did the woman go out of the kitchen? She did not because she had a curse put on by a man off the streets of Greek row a Yale that said u may never leave the closest kitchen near this very spot, and it turns out that the closest kitchen was in a frat house across the street so now she is stuck in the kitchen making sandwiches for all the frat bros at this Yale frat house, So basically she was in her place

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Q: What causes earthquakes? A: Your mother walking.

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What did the blind man say to his wife? -would you mind helping me upstairs, for I cannot see.

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Where was the Decoration Of Independence Signed? At the bottom.

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a man walked into a bar, sat down and had a drink with his friends.

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What did the Asian say to his racist friend? You're racist

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What do you call a gay kid, a horrible singer, and has long hair for a guy? Justin Bieber

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How many pairs of underwear do I own? Seventy-nine.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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