whats on object, almost tube like that squirts thick white liquid from the top elmer's glue

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What do you call man with no limbs or a head? Your neighbor.

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Your momma is so dumb that her IQ is 3 standard deviations below that of an average person.

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I'm schizophrenic and so am I. I also happen suffer from multiple personality disorder. Schizophrenia refers to separation of mental functions, manifesting in anti-social behavior and delusions, and is unrelated to the separate disorder of dissociative identity disorder, popularly known as multiple personality disorder, characterized by at least two distinct and enduring identities and dissociated personality states. Both are crippling to normal behavior and function due to lack of public awareness and funding. Now get out of our ghost train or we'll cut you.

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How do u get suzzy off a swing? You tell her to get off

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What do you call a chicken with no feathers, no guts, and no head? Fried chicken

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Why did the midget cross the road? He needed to buy a ladder

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Michael Brown

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In order to find a woman, you need time and money. Woman=Time&Money The longer you spend at work, the more money you get. Time=Money Money is the root of most problems in the world today. Money=Problems Therefore Women=Problems

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What's so similar about a zombie and a black man? They are both almost human.

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Why was it cold in Florida on Monday? Because there was an irregular cold front moving through. The Monday part was just a coincidence.

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Knock knock Who's there? Cow Cow who? If you really think about it, it's really now

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Why did the chicken get hit by a bus? He tried to cross the road.

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because they're extinct.

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Knock Knock! Who is there? Me. Let me in. Oh, okay, Come in.

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Q:Why couldn't the man lick his ice cream? A: Because he lost all of his tongue due to the chemicals of cigarettes.

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Where was Suzy during the explosion? Everywhere! Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Suzy!

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How do you make a tissue dance? You give it dance lessons.

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What do the Africans have for breakfast? Nothing.

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What is the definition of child abuse? Ms Bazan

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Yo momma so fat she has more chins than a Chinese phonebook. Chins in a phonebook? I don't get it.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? His mother threw a brick at him.

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knock knock? whose there? i dont know. i dont know who? i dont know.

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Why was the little boy crying? Because there was a hair in his burrito

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops