A apple a day is good for your overall health and you should schedule check ups with your doctor to maintain good health and avoid seeing him everyday.

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What do a duck and a bicycle have in common? They both have handlebars, except for the duck!

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A cheerio gets a job at McDonalds and after working for a while, he gets employee of the month and goes to the district ball. While there, he meets a female(frosted) cheerio whom he asks out. She refuses because she only dates frosted cheerios. So, the male goes back to work for the next year, and his boss is happy with his work, so he asks him if he would like anything. The cheerio says yes, i want to be frosted. The boss says ok, i'll make you frosted, so now that he's frosted, he goes back to the ball. He asks the same female cheerio out, she says yes this time. He then asks her if she wants something to drink, she says yes. She wants some milk. So the guy stands in line for about 15 minutes, when he gets to the front, there is no more milk left. So he asks her if she would like some tea. she says yes. So he goes and stands in line for another 15 minutes only to find out there is no more tea. So then he asks her if she would like some punch, shesays yes. So after an hour of searching, he finds out there is no punchline......

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Yo mama so fat that you should maintain strong eye contact with her and not look at her body.

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What did peter griffin say to the black guy? Oh you are black.

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So three ants are in a straight line. The first ant said there's an ant behind me, the second ant said there's an ant behind me, and the third ant said there's an ant behind me. Why is this? The third ant lied.

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What do elves get for Christmas? Overtime.

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whats cold, blue and hard? a frozen blueberry.

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Have you seen Ray Charles' new house? Neither has he...

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Tilt your screen back

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stfu Aodhan u and kevin are doin all the instigsating

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You know the drill, the world is not as black and white as it was before, just because we are not on the same side, does not make us enemies either. As for whatever is going on, I can assure you I had nothing to do with the fall of the first underground, and neither will I make sure whatever you scraped together, large or small falls either, I realize I should have thought this trough some more, but we had little time to act on this one.

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how do you kill chuck norris? you dont, killing is illegal

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what do you call Tim Tebow on a bike with a clown hat on? Tim, Mr. Tebow whatever you want

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What did the blind man say to his teacher? Nothing, blind people can't talk.

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What happened to the man who went to a strip bar? What happens to all of us. He died.

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What is ET short for? Extra terrestrial

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Before you insult a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you insult him, you'll be a mile away, and have his shoes.

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Why was the man walking down the street late at night? Because he's homeless and has nowhere to stay.

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What do you call it when you almost win? You lose.

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a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

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What's better than a stick? A stone

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What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends on what its name is.

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Remember when Jesse Ziegenbein was skinny? yeah niether do I

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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