Q. Why did the boy fall off the swing? A. He had no arms or legs. Q. What did he get for Christmas? A. A drumset Q. Knock Knock Who's there Not him

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A black person goes up to the drive through at popeye's, what did they say? Nothing, it was closed.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q. What do humans and jelly beans have in common ? A. Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Bigfoot, the loch ness monster, and self-respecting Justin Beiber fans are all the same, your told they exist, it's not true.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

there were two cyclists cycling down a main road in china at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace, one being chinese and the other irish. why did the irish man get stopped and the chinese man not? because the irish man had in fact raped and murdered a young child in his native home town and then fled the country to china.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what’s worse than 12 dead babies in one trash can? one dead baby in 12 trash cans

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A wanted man walks into a bar. The police come and take him to jail.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

knock knock Goodbye

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Lollies are sweet warheads are sour, open your legs and feel my power

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why couldn't the kitten drink its milk? Because its owner was neglecting him and the kitten later died of malnurisment

thumb_up thumb_down +8

There are two types of people in this world, those that can't count

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock Knock The occupant uses their peephole and realizes it is a familiar face then proceeds to let them in.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why is 6 so afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered six offender.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's smelly and Dirty? Someone who hasn't shower in a reasonably long time.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A little girl was curious about where people come from so she asked a very controversial question. Girl goes up to her mother and ask "Mommy, where do babies come from?" Mother replies "Ask daddy." Girl says "Daddy, where do babies come from?" Father replies "Ask the dog." Girl then goes up to her dog and says "Doggy, where do babies come from?" The dog doesn't reply because it's a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

When life hands you lemons you can't make lemonade, Sugar and Water are two other key ingredients that were not included with the lemons.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What is the difference between a Mexican and an a pile of crap? One is disgusting and unsanitary and the other is a pile of crap.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock Knock. You don't have a door.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Do you know what the forest fire got for Christmas? Your house

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, But the very next day, I died.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

why did the man turn on and off the lights 20 times because he was diagnosed with O.C.D as a child

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How does a person with Alzheimers' poem go? Roses are red, Roses are red, Roses are red, Wait, what was I doing?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's worst than finding a worm in your apple Finding half a worm in your apple .....

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops