Roses are red violets are blue tulips are purple/pink

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what did the bus driver say to the black man when he got on the bus? nothing, carl has become very anti-social since his brother died

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the chicken cross the road? I'm not quite sure, but I just realized that my new pair of boxer briefs has ripped along the seam. Oh, and earlier this morning, I stubbed my toe pretty bad. The nail is all purple and the toe is all swollen, it was bleeding profusely until I put three bandages over the wound. It's still throbbing with pain. Oh, and also, a few months ago, I lost my job. It wasn't because I was constantly late or anything, it was more because as a server, I had been required to lift trays and stand and walk for the entirety of my shift. The only problem is, that about a year ago, I was involved in a serious car accident (once again, an occurrence that had not been due to my own actions). This car accident severed my spine in the L5 region. I can now barely walk for long periods of time, I find it impossible to run, I can no longer play sports and enjoy being a 21 year old male. I am in constant pain and it affects my breathing, my legs, the rest of my back, and also my teeth (due to the neurological connections dealing with the spinal cord). I am now currently looking for a new job, a more suitable job, to help sustain my hectic lifestyle. No, it is not a lifestyle of parties and what not, it is merely the lifestyle of living under roof and owning a used car. I have an alcoholic mother and my childhood was devoid a father. I raised myself, and to this day, I still have no family to help me through my financial struggles. I need nearly 2000 dollars in less than a week in order to pay all my bills, have my car fixed, and eat for another month. The only problem is, I have a dollar and 58 cents to my name. I wish I was this chicken, crossing roads, and what not, not just to get to the other side, but to live a better life. But, one can only wish.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A muslim, a jew, and a black man jump off a cliff. Who hits the ground first? They all hit the ground at the same time because gravity pulls all objects at the same rate regardless of their mass.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you call a person with an axe stuck to his head? What's your name?

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Your mother is so slutty that she seduced me while I was drunk. I'm so sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's short and weak and has no life..........a Jordan pederson!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

the elephant asks the man, " how do u breathe out of that thing?" the man proceeds to explain to the elephant how he breathes out of his nose.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Your mama's so fat that when she farted, gas came out!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the black man go to portugal? Because he was very hard working and needed a vacation.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Click here for free sandwich.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How do you starve a black man?.........take away his food!!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

An Octopus walked into a bar. He then died as he had been out of his natural habitat for an exceedingly long period of time. An octopus can only survive on land for 30 minutes.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

So there's this big ass bronco right? It goes to a store and it asks Ben Roethlisberger "Do you know where I can find some girls to rape?" Ben Roethlsiberger says "In aisle 5" so the moose goes down to aisle 5 but there aint no girls!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

why did rosa parks get moved to the back of the bus? she didnt call shotgun

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's worse than a burglar breaking into your house in the middle of the night? A rapist breaking into your house in the middle of the night.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why was the girl crying? Because I raped her

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What to hear an anti-joke? No.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did the commentor say when he saw the "waht's worse than finding a worm in your apple...the holocaust." joke? I am offended to your cruel referance to worms.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the boy get hit by a bus? Because he was standing in front of the bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What is the meaning of life? Bill Gates: Windows Donald Trum: Money Some poor kid:luck and rich parents.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's sad about 4 black people in a cadilac driving over a cliff? They stole my car :(

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops