Roses are red violets are blue I have five fingers the middle one is for you.

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Have you heard about the Polish princess? There isn't one. The Polish monarchy was abolished in 1918.

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Whats green and gets you really high? A green airplane

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You are joking right?

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What did the elf say to Santa I'm not making any more toys fat ass.

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A bear wakes up from hibernation and is hungry. He sees a nearby forest cabin and decides to see if he can find food inside. The bear breaks into the cabin and thus the people staying there frantically run away to call animal control.

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How many cows does it take to screw in a light bulb? Either one super cow or none because cows don't even have apposable thumbs

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Why did the boy fall of his bike? Becuase he was hit by a couch.

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Whats worse than bitting into a apple and finding a worm? Being the worm who just lost nearly half his whole house because some jerk decided to eat an apple on the ground, whom after eating the apple destroyed the worms self-esteem by making the comparison to the worse thing possible. Or being raped by Zeus in the form of a worm.

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What do you call a green dog? A green dog.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Guitar. Guitar who? Violin.

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An egg and a sausage walk into a bar, and the barman says "sorry, we don't serve breakfast".

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Want to hear a Joke? No.

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The Chicken was crossing the road one afternoon, he was fined by a police officer for J walking He made it to the other side.

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I hear eating an apple a day keeps the other apples in check.

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why can't johnny compete in the track race? because he has no feet.

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a duck walks in to a gay bar and asks for a stick they asked where he wanted it before he could answer he was rapped

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Going up to someone and saying, "my mom is dead and my dad tryd killing himself, can i have a ride home?"

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Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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Why did the man jump into the river? He wanted to go for a swim, but the pool was closed, so he swam in the river.

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One day Rebecca Black was driving down the street in a brand new convertible Luckily a policeman pulled her over after observing that she was far too young to be driving a car. Underage driving is a serious offense and should not be endorsed in music videos.

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Micheal Jackson walks into a bar

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Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7,8,9

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How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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