how do you kill justin bieber? put a bag over his head and suffercate him.

What do you get when you see a black man writing? A man devoted to getting a education.

Why do Jews have such big noses? They don't; To suggest phenotypic variation along religious lines is preposterous.

Confucius says, I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand.

Two muffins are in the oven They didn't say anything.

What time is it in Florida? Time To Eat The President Of The United States!

What's funnier than 24? 9/11

what did the kid with no hair get for christmas? cancer.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

I have existed for over 6000 years and around vi0lating people long before you where ever born kid... You do not believe me you say? friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man: You do not believe me? According to this DNA test... Welcome to papa son/daughter... Its time to make you a man/woman now, and then TIME TO MAKE YOU my BlTCH!

whats the stage after cancer? you die

If Bob has 65 sweets and he eats 57 how many does he have? Bob has diabetes. He has high blood sugar, either because the body does not produce enough insulin, or because cells do not respond to the insulin that is produced.

Why was the road crossed by the chicken? Because as an animal, incapable of understanding human languages and consequently lacking in education, it was unable to understand the convention of not using the passive voice in English prose writing.

I once heard a funny joke, it was as funny as a funeral

Yo mama is so fat that her doctor advised her to get some exercise or risk developing a heart condition!

Why did Lucy fall off the swing set? Because she died. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Lucy.

When there's something strange in your neighborhood, who ya gonna call? The Police. There's something strange in your neighborhood.

Did you hear the joke about the man and the serial killer? Neither did the man since he was stabbed repeatedly and thrown into the bottom of a lake.

Why was six afraid of seven? Because chad makes babies cry.

What's black, white, and red all over? A lot of things, you just gotta keep your eyes peeled.

What do Mike Tyson's handwriting, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and your Grandma's apple pie have in common? Nothing.

What did the soldier get for his birthday? Shot in the face.

There once was a mam from Peru He dreamed he was eating a shoe It wasn't... It was a goat

What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...