what did I say to myself nothing because its very weird to talk to your self

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Friend's are like pinguins, they both die when you stab them in the heart.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Whats a never ending Opium for the stupid, mentally depraved un educated population? Christianity

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Your mom is so nce that when you got into college she taught you to be more independent so you could succeed later in life.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? A catfish could never pass the LSAT because it is unable to perform high-level critical thinking.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

two guys r talking and the one said *i swear to god* and the other one said *u swear what to god what the hell r u talking about i dont even know u*

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Knock knock. Who's there? The police, you murdered ten people.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

a man was shot.... he died

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Jane was playing in the back of the bus with an eyeball...up and down,up and down.An old woman asks her : Jane,what are you doing?She responds : I`m trying to see who`s the driver

thumb_up thumb_down +32

what ddo you call someone that has a small dick benjamin

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Knock-knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Knock-knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Knock-knock Who's there? Banana Banana who? Banana you glad I didn't say banana?

thumb_up thumb_down +30

blargen fa-diddle nachen!

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Burrinbar Smells like incest anal sex!

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's big, black, and impossible to swallow? A parking lot. Among many other things.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the Mexican cross the border? To get into the USA for a better lifestyle.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the bad boy get for Christmas? Incurable cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do you call it when you see a black man break his arm? There isn't really any name but I suggest he seeks medical attention.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A man takes a bite into a tuna casserole and burns his tounge. He is also a hermaphradite.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Good friends are like snowflakes. They disappear when you pee on them.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why do the man leave his tv on? He was murdered while he was watching tv

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did the fat kid eat for dinner? Salad, he's on a diet.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q: why did Suzie drop her ice cream? A: because she got hit by a bus.. Q:knock knock who's there? A: not Suzie

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What does a gay horse eat? Low-energy foods should only be fed to horses who are not regularly being worked and participating in high performance. According to the University of Kentucky's College of Agriculture, energy is vital to horses who need to perform their best as it aids many of the body's functions including muscle contraction, respiration and circulation. Only feed a low-energy diet to an idle horse and feed a high-energy diet to an older or sickly horse and to a working horse.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A black guy and a Mexican are in a car, who's driving? The taxi driver.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops