What's sad about this man who committed suicide? He forgot to return his rented DVDs.

thumb_up thumb_down

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down

A duck walks into a convient store and ask the cashier, "You got any bread?". The cashier immediatley responds, "No sorry, we don't sell bread." The next day the duck comes back and asks the same cashier, "You got any bread?" The cashier sighs and responds, "No, we still have no bread." After browsing for about three minutes the duck comes back and asks, "You have any bread?" The cashier, as pissed off as a beached whale, says, "NO! WE WILL NEVER GET ANY FRICKEN BREAD AND IF YOU ASK AGAIN I'LL NAIL YOUR BEAK TO THIS COUNTER!" The duck sways his head and looks to the ground, only to look right back at the cashier and ask, "You got any nails." The cashier says, "No." The duck comes back and says, "You got any bread?"

thumb_up thumb_down

Did you hear the one about the guy who went his whole life without ever telling a joke? He was still funnier than David Letterman.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's normally shaped like a rectangle, and is so thin, it gives people cuts? Paper.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What brown and squishy? um um um um melted kit-kats

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Whats long and red all over? This Cut on my arm, i should get it checked out.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why do gingers smell so bad? So the blind can hate them too

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Is this the Krusty Crab? Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Have you ever been to Uranus? Well I heard it's nice this time of year.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Whats a black and white and red all over? i dont know...who spends their time researching this kind of stuff

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What is black and white and red all over? A nun that just fell down the stairs.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

whats long hard and full of seamen? a submarine.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

thats what she she. no really thats what she said

thumb_up thumb_down -4

An Asian, a redneck, an Irish, and an Iranian walk into a bar. All but the Iranian were asked to go back to the parking lot and park their car to take up only one space.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

There once was this guy and he fell down

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Im sorry Dylan Hodge Jamie Stegman

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Roses are Grey, Violets are Grey, I am Colorblind...FML

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did Billy stop playing baseball? He lost his legs to cancer. Poor Billy.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

The boy gets shot in the face, he then dies of childhood obesity.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's long, hard and full of semen? An erect penis prior to ejaculation.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Your Mom

thumb_up thumb_down -6

how do u kill a blonde: drop something shiny at the bottom of a pool how do u kill 2 blondes: but a mirror at the bottom of a pool how do u kill 3 blondes: ask which 1 of them is the prettiest and then wait 5 minuetes:)

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops