How many apes does it take to put in a light bulb 3

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I like your words "He without an equal, also stands alone was it?"

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What do you call a horse with a missing leg Calling it names could be considered animal abuse and should be reported immediately

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A lion, a leopard, a sheep, and a flesh eating New Zealand parrot stalk, trot and fly, respectively, into a bar. The parrot lands on the the sheep's back and begins to tear into its flesh in order to reach the succulent deposits of fatty tissue located around the sheep's kidneys. "Ouch!" Said the sheep. "Why would you do that? Oh, the pain! The pain!" "Squak!", Replied the NZ parrot, wiping blood of its sharp, hooked beak on the counter. "I think," Began the lion, "This parrot from New Zealand is hungry for fat from a sheep's soft, woolly back." The sheep's wool was now damp with blood. "Perhaps this parrot from New Zealand wants sheep fat from its soft woolly back." "Ah!" Said the sheep. "This parrot from New Zealand wants sheep fat from my soft woolly back!" "Yes", Replied the lion. "You could also say..." Started the sheep, "That an NZ parro-" The sheep did not finish his sentence. He died from his wounds. The lion left. The parrot flew off to tear up some windshield wipers. And the leopard stashed the sheep carcass in a tree branch for later consumption.

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Why didn't the African kid eat lunch? He wasn't hungry.

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Why do midgets laugh when they run? The grass tickles their balls.

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knock knock who's there ... '*Opens the door slowly* SUPRISE BUTT SEX!

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What are the biggest ants in the world? Ants under a magnifying glass.

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar

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So a man walks into a bar. Unfortunately, he had brittle bone disease, cracked open his skull and bled to death on the pavement.

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How do you get Jake snow to shut up? Say shut up

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What did the little asian boy get for his birthday? To work for minimun wage making high quality shoes for greedy white people in North America who dont care about anybody but themselves.

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why did the man sell the car and bought worse one? it' s his hoby to restore cars

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Why did the man trip over the kitten? He was blind.

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Confucius says, I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand.

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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What do you get when you cross a gay man with a chainsaw? A decapitated homosexual.

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Why was the Mexican in the back of a pick up truck? There were not any available seats.

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You know what's real bullshit? That stuff that comes out of a bull's ass.

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What did Bob say at Fred's house? "I know where Fred lives."

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Knock Knock... Who's there? Nine... Nine who? Nine Eleven.

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A horse walks into a Bakery and asks "Do you have any wheat bread?", and the Baker replies "No, we only have white bread." So the horse says: "Thats okay, I rode my bike today."

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What do you call a boomerang that doesnt come back? A stick.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Hitler, time to shower!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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