A woman is in a terrible car crash. The husband comes in, runs to the doctor and he says "Doctor! My wife...is she going to make it?" The doctor turns and says "your wife will survive, but she's experienced heavy brain trauma. She will never walk again. You'll have to bathe her, feed her, change her diapers, and cater to her every need." The husband starts crying and says "oh my God that's terrible! Are you serious?" The doctor replies "Yes."

How do you stuff a giraffe into a refrigerator? You can't, giraffes are too big.

Why did the depressed man commit suicide? Its typical of a depressed person.

How do you stop a plane? Land it.

What do you call most people over 50 who aren't married. Divorced

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black.

a man touches girls butt ...... she sharts her pants

'l give you a nickle to tickle my pickle i'l give you a dime to take you time

Q:How do you get better at boxing? A:Get a bigger package Daniel W. Schnurr

eyebrows up means ur flirting this isnt a joke dont laugh

men, men like men= men+bed

Why did the baby duck cry? Because his family just got ran over by a truck

Your mothers so stupid she is retaking her college courses so she can get a better job and support her family.

One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. The fight began and the challenger says, "Hey whats the one thing you say when you don't want to fight anymore and you let the other person win?" The other guy says to the challanger, "I give up?" Then the challenger yells. "I WIN!"

Why did the man go to Lourdes Because he has lost all hope

What did the raped girl get for Christmas? Pregnant.

who is gay wit mon james cornish

What did the man get from killing his own wife and children? A boner.

A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender can you throw me a beer and the bartender says yes and he throws him the beer and the man says I can't catch I have the smallest hands in the world and the bartender says go across the street there is a guineas book of world record store an check if you h e the smallest hands and he does so the next day he goes back and asks for another beer and the bartender throws him a beer and say I cant catch cause I have the smallest feet in the world and he goes across the street and checks and he does and then the third day he goes back to the bar and asks for a beer and the bartendor throws him another beer and says I can't catch I have the smallest penis in the world so he goes to the guiness book o world record store and then goes bac to the bar and asks..... Who's austin bell?????

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

Your momma is so fat, shes skinny.

Did you hear about the kid from Texas? He shot his campus up.

Why does tundes food suck? Because he is from Africa and the cuisine is different

How do you have se with hellen keller? Very sweetly

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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