What did Hitler say to his wife? It's time to go start the Holocaust.

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Whats black and hangs from trees? To get to the other side.

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I feel like am motherf***ing stuck in this duck and it makes me wana quack like what the f**k is THAT!

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Q: why do orphans always go hard? A: because the can never go home.

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Have you seen Helen Keller's new car? Neither has Stevie Wonder.

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Q. What did the chicken do when it lost its egg? A. It went to go look for it. Q. Why was the chicken scared of the duck? A. Because it was chicken Q.Why can't chickens fly? A. Because they don't want to Q.Why can't chickens swim? A. Because they don't want to Q. Whey do chickens cluck? A. Because they want to Q. Why did the chicken jump on top of a car? A. Because it knows how Q. Why doesn't a chicken have hands? A. Because it's not human Q. What did the chicken dream about? A. Chicken dreams Q. Why was the chicken lost? A. Because it wasn't found Q. Why wasn't the chicken afriad of the dog? A. Because the chicken was blind Q. Why doesn't the chicken know how to drive a car A. Because they don't need to

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A man walks into a bar and says, "Hey, Jim, your wife just died from terminal cancer." Jim then says, "Cool. Hey, do you know if the games on tonight?"

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Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M factory? Because she was a very poor worker.

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In mother Russia you don't eat cookie. Dog eat shark. -B.Gill

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Why was the boy afraid? Because he had just seen his dog get ran over by a tractor

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Knock-Knock Who's there? Ketchup. Ketchup who? Ketchup-mustard.

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What did the korean say to the other korean. I don't know i dont speak korean.

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What is brown, creamy, and tastes like gravy? gravy.

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A muslim paints Mohammed

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Why did Poppy lose at sports day? Because she had a heart attack and died.

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What's black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

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What's worse than slipping on a banana peel? Amanda Todd's suicide.

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Guys, I think I'm gonna apply to join the Crips. My SAT score is a 2050, and their average score is a 2200. My GPA, however, is a 4.6, and their average is only a 4.2. Do you guys think that they will take me? Or should I try and apply for the Bloods?

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What did the man say to his wife while having sex? I don't know.

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Why did the nervous man jump out of a plane? He was sky diving.

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What's bigger than a horse ? An elephant.

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Why did the fat person build a lift in his house? He was caring for his terminally ill mother which has a cancer and got both her legs amputated due to the cancer spreading to her legs.

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There is a law in california that says that women are not allowed to drive with house coats.

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Why did the white boy not make his high school basketball team? Because he was not as good as the other players.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops