What did the mother do when she found out the baby was stillborn? Gave it a proper burial, grieved for months and became a shell of her former self.

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Why did the Asian woman get into a car accident? She didn't pay attention in driver school and sped through a red light and hit a bus that killed 14 children.

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There was a papa tomato, a mama tomato, and a baby tomato. Coincidentally, it was also Tuesday.

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What did little Ben's mom give him for Christmas? Nothing. She died last month

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whats a bike and rhymes with mike?

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Why did the middle age man walk across the street? There were no vehicles currently driving on that particular road

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Lukas: can i have a cigarette? Scott: i dont know can you? lukas: may i? Scott: NO

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What's the difference between a pair of slippers and a pair of dead babies? Essentially nothing.

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Teacher: What is 1+1? Student: 2 Teacher: Next time raise your hand before answering a question.

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ok so ive been pondering for a while now for a joke to submit and here is what ive got, tell me what you think: quif stain

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What do you call a police officer who kills a black person? Innocent

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no rasist joks

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What do a porkchop and a watermelon have in common? They're both edible, organic, and delicious. Also, both are fun to throw at people.

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What's the difference between you and a bucket of shit? The bucket and the shit. You're a human being.

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Why didn't Sally go to the party? Because everybody hates her and she wasn't invited.

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Non-Anti-Joke.com!

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Whats a never ending Opium for the stupid, mentally depraved un educated population? Christianity

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Why didn't gram-pa give his grandson a Birthday present? Because he had Alzheimer's and forgot about him.

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Whats the difference between a muslim and a christian? They believe in different things.

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Why can't Stevie wonder read? He can. He reads braille.

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A grandfather clock fucked my bicycle!

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Whats the difference between a duck? Both legs are of the same length. Especially the left one.

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Q: What's black and white and red all over? A: Someone who just got stabbed to death reading the newspaper.

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what do you call 20 black people under the ocean? a tragic boating accident

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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