What did man who had diarrhea say to the other man? "I have to go to the toilet."

What did the hooker get for Christmas ? AIDS.

What's the difference between a black man and a bench? The bench is an object and the black man is a human being.

what do call a dead dog in between two planks of wood? big sandwhich.

Gentlemen, when she says no, she always means yes. Unless, of course, your rhetoric is of a sexual nature.

whats big, black and red all over? My mom when its that time of the month

What’s big, grey, has wrinkly skin, and a trunk? An elephant. Oh, you’ve heard this one.

Roses are Grey, Violets are Grey, I am Colorblind...FML

How many black men does it take to change a light bulb? TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE!

Want to hear an anti-joke? Yes. Well I'm not going to tell you one.

The government

What's normally shaped like a rectangle, and is so thin, it gives people cuts? Paper.

Why is Justin Bieber gay? Justin is attracted to the female gender

What brown and squishy? um um um um melted kit-kats

What happened to the soldier who go shot while fighting terrorists in the middle east? He died and had a proper funeral back in the town/city that he was born in.

How did the Jew survive the Holocaust? Trick question he didn't

Scenario - Two astronauts are kayaking down the Sahara dessert. Question - How many pancakes does it take to shingle a doghouse? Answer - Purple, because ice cream has no bones.

Did you hear the one about the guy who went his whole life without ever telling a joke? He was still funnier than David Letterman.

Justin Bieber walks into a bar. He is soon kicked out as he is underage.

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

How many unicorns does it take to change a lightbulb? Unicorns do not use lightbulbs, their technology (magic) is way too advanced to waste fossil fuels and pollute the air. Also, you can't change a lightbulb with hooves. ;)

Whats worse than a baby crying on a plane. 9/11

Nazi jokes are not funny. ANNE FRANKly they're mean! See What i did there?

Why did the man hang himself? Because his pistol misfired.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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