Micael Jackson enters a bar. Everyone screams, and then someone runs over and pulls the cheap mask off the impersonator's face. Michael Jackson IS DEAD, get over it

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Knock Knock! Whos There? Little boy blew! Little boy blew who? Micheal Jackson....

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Haikus are easy. But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

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Hey, what do you call an absent-minded person? I'm sorry what did you say?

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Roses are Red Violets are blue Shut up I'm watching Re-runs of FRIENDS.

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What do you get when you reverse Zelda's Lullaby ? Skyward Sword's theme.

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Roses are green. Violets are purple. Charlie Sheen. Looks a turtle.

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There are 2 cannibals eating a guy well one starts at the head and the other one starts at the feet the one at the head says to the other on how you doing down there and he said ohhh having a ball you!!!!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a smoke dectecter, You died in a fire

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Can Anti-Jokes censor curse-word tenses? Fuck Fucking Fucked Fucks

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djkldfnblfnbofgb

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Q How is it Going Patty? A:Hi Patrick hows it going?

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What do you call a black person who sells drugs? A pharmacist.

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Whats long, green and falls out of trees? A canoe. Why did the old man fall out of the tree? He was in the canoe.

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What did Santa Claus get for Christmas? Santa isn't real.

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I haven't read and I don't agree to the Terms of Service

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I painted my dog to look like pizza. Someone ate him. It was my mom.

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What magical power enables Spongebob to talk? There is no magical power. he is a cartoon therefore making him be able to anything in anyone's wild dreams.

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What did one butthole say to the other butthole? I'm actually not sure. I wasn't there when he said it.

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Who cut the cheese? It's sliced so evenly.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? Its babies were being mauled by a cat.

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What's worse than seeing Helen Keller behind the wheel of a car? Being run over by Helen Keller.

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I'm a wise old man, so I'm aloud to touch you in the bathing suit area.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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