Knock knock who's threre me, I kill you

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Q: What does a bunny and a plum have in common? A: They're both purple except the bunny.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She was a woman

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A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says, "We don't serve food here." The sandwich charges the barman for discrimination.

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What do you do when a burglar breaks into your house and tries to kill and rape you and you family? Nothing, he as an AK-47 and shoots you all dead and then has sex with your corpses.

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Whats 9 plus 10 ... WHO FREAKIN CARES! STUPID.

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Why did the airplane crash? The pilot had a stroke.

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Q: What did the vomiting man say to his friend? A: BLEEEAAARRRGGHH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to his wife? A: BLAAAARRRRRGGGHHH!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the waiter in the restaurant? A: BLAAAAAARGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to Leonardo DiCaprio? A: BLEEEEAAAARRGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the convenience store clerk? A: BLAAAAAARRRGGGGHHHH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to your mom? A: BLAAAARRRGGGHH!!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to Barack Obama? A: BLAAAARRRRRGGHHHH!! Q; What did the vomiting man say to the King of Saudi Arabia? A: BLAAAAAAAAAAAEEEAAARRGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the bartender? A: BLLLEEEEAAAARRGHHHH!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the funeral home director? A: BLLLEEEAAAARRRGGGHHH!!

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Why do I have a Virtual Boy?

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They found Michael Jackson dead in his house and found Madeleine McAnn in the cupboard 8P

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Jennifer Kim... having a boyfriend!

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Q: what happens when Justin Bieber walks into bar? A: three things, blood on the bar floor, another vister at the celebrity hospital, and Justin Bieber with knifes and darts stuck in his chest!

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Run, Run, As fast as you can, You can't catch me, I'm in a car.

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How do you call the uncle who molested you as a child? More than likely with a telephone.

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An Ethiopian fell into an alligator infested river. He ate 7 of them before he got out.

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What's the difference between a duck and a popsicle? I don't shit on hamsters.

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How do you get a baby in a bowl? You put it in.

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Hej Erik och Leo!!

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Nathaniel Nugnes walks into a bra

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Y didnt the grandma go to christmas? She died on thanksgiving

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what do you make if you get a cow, then kill it. ...Steak

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in a car crash an entire family is killed from death until they all die

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How did the black man survive the Train crash? He didnt, he died liked everyone else

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A lady in a bank was asked by the clerk to round the sum she wanted to raise from her account. She rounded it several times, but the clerk continued to insist that the sum needs to be rounded. She left the bank confused, with a coupon consisting of completely rounded sum of 691, 88$. Next day she returned with a coupon with a rounded sum of 690,88$. The clerk asked again the lady to round the sum. The lady started helplessly to cry and said she had rounded is already with a harp, and couldn't make it round anymore, she even removed the sharp 1 from the sum.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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