Knock knock Who's there It's a policeman informing you that your parents have been killed in a car crash. Your Dad, who has been struggling with substance abuse and depression, found out his wife had been cheating on him, and in a drunken rage, wrapped the car around a tree.

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What dod the boy with no arms get or christmas? Nothing he can't open them!

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If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put my sausage in your oven

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Thats the magic of Moral Man, I do not make people my bitches, they curl up and do it all for me. Moral: HEEEEEY BITCHEEEEEES! WAZZAAAAP!

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What do you call a KKK member? ...racist

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Why was the boy crying in public with no clothes on? Because he had no clothes on in public.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A bicycle!

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patty was in sunday school, the teacher asked her "patty who created the universe?" john sliped into the seat next to her and jabbed her with a pen "LORD ALMIGHTY" the teacher said' good patty now who gave himself for us? john again jabbed her with a pin "JESUS CHRIST" "that very good patty now what did mary say to joseph after they had their 23 child?" john jabbed her " IF YOU STICK THAT DAMN THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME ILL BREAK IT IN HALF!!!" the teacher fainted

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you go to cvs and theres a robber trying to shoot everyone and the cashier says do you have a rewards card

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A duck walks into a bar. The duck walks over to the bartender and orders a beer. "put it on my bill." he says. The bartender angrily grabs the duck and kicks him out of the bar, because the duck has done this many times, but has never once paid his bill to the bar. The duck is an alcoholic and is slowly ruining his relationship with his family.

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Nope, but you know those like little stop motion things with clay figures? Plompsters or something?

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Whats worse than one dead guy? 2 dead guys

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Q: What did the Rabbi say to the butcher? A: "Do you have the time?"

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Why was the black man running down the street with a suitcase? He was late for work.

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Roses are red violets are blue I have five fingers the middle one is for you.

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An Octopus walked into a bar. He then died as he had been out of his natural habitat for an exceedingly long period of time. An octopus can only survive on land for 30 minutes.

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What did the commentor say when he saw the "waht's worse than finding a worm in your apple...the holocaust." joke? I am offended to your cruel referance to worms.

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Knock Knock. To get to the other side.

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how many black people can you fit in a car? However many sets there are.

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What's the best thing about Windows OS? It's very versatile and can run a wide selection of programs, tools, and games.

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A man walks into a bar. and buys a drink.

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What's worse than a burglar breaking into your house in the middle of the night? A rapist breaking into your house in the middle of the night.

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What did George Washington tell his men before they got on their horses? Men get on your horses.

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how old is god? i don't know thats why i'm asking you. by: Brennan pickrell

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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