Whats bigger than a tuba? the universe.

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How many pairs of underwear do I own? Seventy-nine.

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Why did the cow say moo? Cows can't say anything they actually make noises that humans interpreted as "moo"

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What did the chair say to the fan? Nothing. Chairs and fans are objects so they do not have the physical ability to talk.

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Knock Knock Whos there Boo OWWW YOU ASS WAT THE F*%^ (crying)

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what do you call the breaching of the anal cavity with a penis? butt sex

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What's worse than the holocaust? nothing it was a terrible act in history

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If Donald Trump was in Game Of Thrones, he'd probably be a part of The Wall.

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How does Batman's mom call him home for supper? Nothing. Batman's mom is dead.

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Q: Why do black people hate country music? A: Because every time they hear "hoe down" they think someone has shot their sister.

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How did the the the police know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head & shoulders in the glove compartment.

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My girlfriend told me I couldn't satisfy her sexually. I told her she was beautiful and gave her flowers.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? ruh-ruh-blah-blah-bluh

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I don't drink. I'm not 21.

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When life gives you Pure Filtered Water, Sweeteners (High Fructose Corn Syrup, Sugar), Lemon Juice from Concentrate, Less Than 0.5% of Each: Natural Flavors, Citric Acid (Provides Tartness), Modified Cornstarch, Glycerol Ester of Wood Rosin, Sodium Hexametaphosphate and Sodium Benzoate and Potassium Sorbate and Edta (to Protect Taste), Red 40 Make Lemonade.

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Knock knock! I'm in the shower, i'll be there in 5 minutes

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What's worse than falling out of a tree and landing on a dog? Rape.

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i saw amango it splootered

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How do you keep a black man from hanging around your tree? You cut the rope.

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How did the fat man die? He was fed porrage until he died. Who killed the fat man? Leonardo DaVici How did Leonardo Da Vinci die? Natural causes (Actually I have no idea how Leonardo Da Vici died but if I am wrong please correct me) Thank You for your coperation.

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What did Heinrich Himmler say to the chicken? I'll take that liver thanks.

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A white man and a black man were walking down the street. The black borrowed the white man's phone to make a quick call when an incoming call came in. The black man, while trying to hand the phone back, says, "Here, it's your Dad." The white man replies, "No, that's my phone." Amazed at how uneducated the black man was.

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Knock knock Who's there Isabelle Isabelle who? Is-a-bell necessary on a bike

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What do a purple cow and a red fire engine have in common? Both like eating pizza on Fridays, except for the red fire engine.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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