What did the girl say before she jumped a bridge? "Do you think I can jump off this bridge?"

Why did the man scream? He got shot in the eye with a nail gun.

What did one muffin say to the other muffin? I don't know what they said, but one muffin, had a knife.

Why did the blond cross the road? She needed to get to the shop as she'd run out of milk.

The man said to his wife love hurts. the wife then progressed with punching in the face.

I'm a burrito... With a big shirt.

Why did the bus drop his icecream? He was hit by a boy

What did the cat say to the dog? Meow.

why did the feminist cross the road? to suck a dick

Q: Why did Timmy cry? A: You would too if you had your arm cut off

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

Who would win if Chuck Norris and God fought to the death? None they are both fictional.

So a guy walks up to a gay guy and says: "You are a fag." The gay guy says: "That is very offensive, you jerk." So the guy says: "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know what it meant" and the gay guy says: "I accept your apology." Then the gay guy crosses the street and gets hit by a bus

Why did the chicken cross the road? To go home and beat his wife

What do you call 50 jewish, homeless men peeing into a river? Pollution.

A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a whiskey sour and a mop.

He who laughs last gathers no moss.

Damn, I was gonna do my laundry but Amanda Todd drank all my bleach

Knock Knock Who's there? Max. Max who? Max who starts his greeting with,  "In accordance with Megan's law"  

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding herpes in your apple.

i saw amango it splootered

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's house? No. Well, neither has he

Know what im sayin'? No but im wearing pants

Man 1: my wife has lovley perfume. She smells like a peppermint cream. Man 2: Yeah, I know, I spent eight hours shagging her last night.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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