How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

So, Ryan Dunn was driving under the influence of alcohol. The result of this action proved to be fatal for both Ryan and his passenger; who happened to be his close and personal friend.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call a black person who flies a plane? A pilot.. You racist bastard.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call a girl with ADD and too much free time? Me

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A man walks into a bar. He buys something.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you get when you cross a chicken with a road? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

FIONN'S ECONOMICS GRADE

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Two Jews walk into a pub. They don't order a ham sandwich.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you get when you add two boys and two girls in a basement? Four people fearing their lives during a tornado.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

yo mamas so poor she should probably consider finding a job

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q:What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A:Lick-a-lotta-pus

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? "We are both lawyers."

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Ross.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his forehead.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A man walks into a bar and says, "Hey, Jim, your wife just died from terminal cancer." Jim then says, "Cool. Hey, do you know if the games on tonight?"

thumb_up thumb_down -7

why did the girl fall off the swing..? because she became unbalanced and the force of gravity extended on her was too great to prevent the fall

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A horse walks into a bar. Just kidding, it's a panda.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

anti-joke.ru - russian style

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Twelve people are in a plane. One of them says: "Man, we really are not so many in this plane" Another one replies: "It's because it's a 12 seats plane." Another says: "Do 12 seats planes even exist?" Another one answers: "Of course they do." Another person says: "Guys, are we even flying?" Someone says: "I don't know" Another says: "Yes, we're flying, look out the window." Another says: "I have cancer." Someone reacts: "Oh, I'm really sorry for you" Another: "Yes, me too" Someone adds: "It's really terrible" Another says: "Has science made any progress recently?" The plane crashes.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

wwwwwhhhurjfjfiudkdhdhkrjfhfjhptghxusudgfhfdhydsyartsdyufhftsysduifogfiiffiydyycufkdytgysyseyydyyduudduydfefikdkeejdicttsysieoowowugagshxjkcjdjevwgyeixodlbbsgwdfehidigofojrehnfkcocoeppwiwufvvdjxifooejehedicisgeneifofjrjhehdhxirjvhejfjhrbrhjfbducjebkwpqosbhdhsvddhehueuwowpqpfugtbcihebdhdjgeyqiichhesweysyhy vhhhhhshdjfjhehehehehehuijrhfeds???????????????????????????????)GHJDJDJFKHRHDJDIEHDJKCHEEJFcyfjfjudffyewdjhsafvd

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's the difference between a man and a woman? Generally speaking- biology, except in cases of transexuality.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Your mom is so fat that her every day life if a struggle and she has to get gastric bypass surgery or else she is going to die

thumb_up thumb_down -7

You: "Ask me if im an astronaut. " Them: "R u an astronaut?" You: "No. "

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Is the glass half full or half empty? The liquid in the glass is not at exact half, so that question is not answerable.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops