Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm not good at rhyming turd

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I don't know about the rest of you, but I HATE funerals.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have fetal alcohol syndrome."

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an islamic man with a strange bag walk into thr airport. he is probably heading toward his flight like any other person.

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Q:what do you get when you get when you cross a dog and a human A: a human-dog hybrid with AIDS

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What do black people eat? What everyone else does!

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A farmer accidentally trips his wife. She falls down the stairs and the farmer is quickly arrested for murder.

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what do you call a cat that cant meow? Charlie Sheen.

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What do you get if Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus have a baby? The apocalypse

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There was 2 friends named Shutup and Trouble. They were camping and Trouble got lost in the woods. Shutup called the police. Shutup: Hello, is this 9-1-1 my friend is missing. Police: What is your name sir? Shutup: Shut up Police: What? Shutup: Shut up Police: What did you say? Shutup: I said Shut Up Police: Hey are you looking for TROUBLE? Shutup: Yes! Police: Guess what? We found him, he's safe in the station. We will have a officer come by a drop him off. Have a good day Mr. Shutup Shutup: Thank you

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That awkward moment when you get in the van and there's no candy.

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How did the Muslim pilot die? He had a fatal heart attack while flying over the Atlantic and as a result the 300 passengers died by drowning.

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Cripples are lame.

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You grand mothers so old she going to die soon.

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Q: Why did princess Diana crops the road? A: Because she wasn't wearing a seatbelt

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Little boy: Daddy, daddy, I know what i want for Christmas! Dad: Oh really? and whats that? Little boy: I want a bicycle! Dad: Why my son? You are already on a wheelchair...

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How many apes does it take to put in a light bulb 3

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What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo? Don't be ridiculous. First of all, scientifically this is near impossible and secondly, what use would a kangaroo with wool be? Sheepdogs would become obsolete and they would be a nightmare to shear. Imbecile.

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Did you see Helen Keller's doll house? No... Well it's really nice!

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rose's are red violets are blue I have touretts blblblblblblblblbbl

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What's the difference between an apple and a banana? One's an apple.

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Why did the man apologize to the other man, after he had hit him with an axe? He didn't. The man was dead.

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The President walks into a local pub. Everyone shits their fricken pants because the President is here.

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What's the difference between an anti-joke and a joke? The anti-Joke isn't a freaking joke. So stop freaking doing it!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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