2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

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roses are red, violets are purple, some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't

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Good friends are like snowflakes. They disappear when you pee on them.

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When birds fly south for the winter they fly in a V formation. one side is always longer than the other. why is that? Because there are more birds on that side

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Your mum is so ugly that i make jokes about how ugly she is

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What did the golfer do on his vacation? He played golf.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? Were both lawyers.

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Q: Why did Steve fall out of the tree A: He was raking the leaves

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The good part of "Age" of Ultron? THANOS REIGNS! Disagree? Just leave the green thumb and fuck off!

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How do you keep an elephant from charging? Ask nicely.

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did you hear about the little girl who won first place in her school's spelling bee? she was hit by a bus

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How did the chewy cross the road ? it was stuck to the chickens foot.

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Whats long and hard? a baseball bat

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Why couldn't the man make it to work? Because as he was leaving his apartment, he saw a gruesome murder on the street that was part of an ever-growing and evolving genocide. Quickly following this, he broke down into psychological turmoil and wandered aimlessly through the streets until he eventually reached a forest, where he was taken in by a wild boar and raised to believe in boar-gods. The man died peacefully while planting potatoes.

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Q: What did the doctor say to his wife? A: Penis.

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Why did the camel climb Mount Everest? Actually, he wasn't a camel, he was a very experienced mountain climber. In any case no one really knows why he did it.

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What do you call Mexicans who go to jail? Criminals.

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A man walks into a bar owned by horses. The bartender says, "Why the short face?"

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my own dog bit my penis off, it was then put down. it was the worst day of my life.

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A horse walks into a bar and the barman asks, "Why the long face?" The horse, being a horse and thus unable to speak or comprehend the complexities of conversation, does not reply and shits on the floor.

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There's nothing more natural than the coals under the fire...

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Why did the McCann's parent's leave the window's and doors open? Because Portugal is a very hot climate, And they expected the place they were staying to be safe as lot's of tourist's stay there throughout the year.

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I see London, I see France. Wow! This high-speed train that travels across Europe is amazing!

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Your momma's so fat she has a hard time finding clothes to fit

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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