Hey Skrillex! Can you do me a favor and hold this bass for me? Sure thing, no problem. 3 seconds later... Oops! My bad! I just dropped it.

You know what really grinds my gears? Insufficient lubricant.

My wife was diagnosed with cancer yesterday. Yeh I didnt find it very funny either.

why is the black guy cross the rode. he did not' he got in a truck. i know it does not make s...

Q. There were 2 Mexicans in a car, who was driving it? A. The police officer.

What do you call a really bad band? Nickelback.

What did the tree say to the kite? She got hit by a fridge.

A rhinoceros walks into a bar. As it felt threatened by the presence of many humans, the rhino attacks and kills several people with the big horn on its nose.

What do you call the man with no arms or legs, swimming in the bay? Bob.

Do Re Mi Fa So La Ti Only musicians will understand.

When geese fly in the V formation why is there always one side longer than the other? Because theres more geese on that side.

Why couldn't the blond get into the library? Because the library was closed therefore the door was locked.

Roses are Red Violets are Blue Some poems have endings

How do you stop a black man from running? You shoot his knee caps.

HAVE A GOOD DAY. DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO.

Hook a finger from each hand in your mouth, now pull so your lips are tight and try to say "I was born on a pirate ship" I'm sorry, I can hardly understand you.

Why'd the gay man get fired from the sperm bank? He was repeatedly late to work.

Why is Short Circuit the best movie ever made? Because it tastes like lemons

A doctor tells a woman he needs to take her rectal temperature. The woman tells the doctor "That's not my rectum." The doctor promptly apologizes and conducts the rest of the check up.

a white man, an asian man, and a mexican man are on a plane and they realize how inefficient the airline was in filling the flight, seeing as there were only three men on board.

Q: how do you test the sharpness of a knife A: stab someone MR

Who doesn't love finding money in your pocket when you go to put your pants on? a rape victim

Why was there no girl on the swing set? She decided to get off of the swings.

For 10 cents a day you can feed an African...they eat pennies.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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