Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the bird.

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roses are red violets are blue polar bears are white grass tends to be green

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Why was the little Asian boy crying at the county fair? He had just watched his entire family get brutally crushed beneath the weight of the old ferris wheel as they went to get on. Never would he forget the painful screams of his mother as her blood splashed onto his white t-shirt. Never would he forget the police car ride to the foster home when it all sank in that they were truly gone. And never would he forget the abuse his new parents would inflict on him daily. But what would forever torment him most were those screams. Those persistent screams that woke him in the night until the day he died many, many years later.

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A man walks into a bar, and he died.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because it was cooked with eleven herbs and spices.

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When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. Well, that's going to be some horrible lemonade if life doesn't also give you water and sugar.

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Why was the woman worried? She was coughing up blood

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What did the fish say when he ran into a cement wall? ....Nothing fish don't run What did the fish say when he swam into a cement wall? ...Damn

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Why is Ray Charles always smiling? He's not, corpses rarely smile

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What do you get when you cross a rabbit and a pair of scissors? Nothing. That's not possible with current technology.

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Roses are red Violets are blue, Eat my anus with a spoon.

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What is small, cries a lot, and moves at high speeds? A baby stapled to a car.

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how did the black guy get into school? he walked thru the front door.

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Whats worse the losing your 3 kids, your lovely beautiful wife, and your trusty dog, all your belongings and in a house fire while you're at work? Nothing

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What did the fork say to the spoon? To get to the other side.

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What did the terrorist get for Christmas? A bullet in his head.

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Why did the teenager take a shower? Because she was brutally raped by a serial rapist and felt dirty. Unfortunately for her, she was unaware that she was washing off the prints from her body and the rapist was never found

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares...he didn't make it anyways..

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What's the difference between cancer and my grandmother? She doesn't have cancer.

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Knock knock Who's there Why? Why who? Why so serious?

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A black man, a Mexican man, a Jew, an Asian man, and a white man get into a fight. Who won? Well since their dispute got all the way to a fight, I guess nobody really wins.

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When life throws you lemons, Throw grenades.

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Q: What did the clown say when he got in a car accident? A: Nothing. He died.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The KKK, got any blacks?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops