Your mom is so fat she decided to get out of bed and exercise because she realized her health would become serious and wanted ot do something about it.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Hop in the van or I will rape you

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roses are red voilets are red bushes are red trees are red HOLY SHIT MY GARDENS ON FIRE!!!!!!

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Nero, sure you are okay?

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Knock Knock Who's there? UPS you have a package from Amazon. \ Oh, Thanks, where do I sign? Right here. Ok, thanks, have a nice day. Thanks you too.

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An Italian, a Mexican, and an American are sharing a meal on the Titanic. They all died for the women and children first.

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How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Well thats a stupid question, just one.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? AIDS

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What is worse than a nuke exploding? Going to the hospital and finding out you have cancer and aids.

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Why does Ray Charles always smile? Because he doesn't know he's black.

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chuck norris can round house kick reasonably well

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Jesse is so fat that Roy is jealous of his big ass tits

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven eight nine

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What's Arabs' cutlery? Bread

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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se* is like math add the couple minus the clothes add the cream and just hope they dont multiply

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I took my blind grandmother to the art gallary

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You having friends.

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how does a chinese chick check if she's pregnant? swallows a rubix cube and if it comes out solved shes pregnant

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Why did the fish look like a human? Because it was a person, drowning.

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What color is the grass on Bob's lawn? Bob lives in a apartment.

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Text this number just cuz 16305208722

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Lightning strikes 2 year old baby.

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You know what's lame? A person who can't walk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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