A chicken walked into the bar...

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Why did the black man go to jail? Because he committed a criminal offense.

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A woman walks in a confessional booth and proceeds to tell the priest about how she killed and ate her baby in a fit of hysteria because she is having issues dealing with her fresh divorce. The priest does not call 911.

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whats the difference between a can and a fish?they can both swim. exept for the can.

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Why didn't bob like night clubs? He was epileptic

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What about the cool kids down the block. Their friend just died with a serious health condition.

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What did the orphan do on Mother's Day? He went to the cemetery

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Do you know what the forest fire got for Christmas? Your house

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A naked man walks into a bar and is promptly arrested for indecent exposure.

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Variants: :) I will always assist you in whatever you want. :( I want to kill you all by myself! Sense? Non? Fuck? Mind? Fission Mailed? Impossible Mission.

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A blond walks into a hair dresser's wearing a pair of headphones. The hair dresser tells the blond to take the headphones off so she can cut the blond's hair. The blond says that if they take off the headphones, then they'll die. The hair dresser works around the headphones, but finally needs to cut underneath the headphones. The hair dresser forces the blond to take the headphones off and nothing happened.

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How do you stop a black man drowning? Take your foot off his head

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Hickory Dickory Dock Three mice ran up a clock The cluck struck one But the two other got away with minor injuries

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How did leatherface cut a tree when he lost his chainsaw? He just asked a friendly neighbor to borrow him a axe

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There was a bunch of kids on a bus. One boy yelled "Look a squirrel!" Nobody saw it because he's dyslexic

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Why did Johnathan drop his popsicle? He was hit by a bus. Knock knock? Who's there? Not Johnathan

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Q: How do you turn lights on and off? A: With a switch

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Why didn't Suzie ride her bike? Suzie's mother aborded her. She was never born.

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Q. What's The Best Thing About Having Sex With Twenty Three Year Old's? A. There are 20 of them...

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Your uncle jack just helped you off a horse. Now it's your turn to help your uncle jack off a horse.

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A man walks into a bar. I don't remember the rest, but your mother's a whore.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 0

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Whats the defination of cruelty

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How do u kill a gay man? Shoot him in the head

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops