Your mamma so fat she bungie jumped straight to hell

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How was my day, you ask? First of all, I don't own a day. And second of all, it hasn't ended.

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What do you call it when the Doctor goes back in time to meet himself? A pair o' Docs. What do you call it when Shaquille O'Neil goes back in time to meet himself? Shaquille O'Neil can't go back in time.

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why did stuart buy an ipad from the mall. because he wanted an ipad

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A jumpercable walks in the bar the bartender says ill get you something but dont start anything.

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I have read and agree to the Terms of Service.

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why did suzie fall off the swing? she had no arms why did suzie get hit by a bus? she was blind knock knock whos there? not suzie.

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What's the one thing America's got but the UK hasn't... School shootings

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What's worse than breaking a leg? Breaking two legs.

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What's worse than your console not switching on? A mutilated body.

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You know what sucks? A vacuum.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Attack her with a sanding machine.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Fruit loops.

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why was the teenage girl crying? She was molested as a child

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What's Rupert bear's middle name? the

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Yo mama is so fat that her doctor advised her to get some exercise or risk developing a heart condition!

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Your mother is so fat that she is considered morbidly obese. In fact, she should seriously consider a weight loss diet to reduce her risk of heart disease and diabetes.

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WHAT DOES A NUMBER DO WHEN IT'S HORNE? MATHDERBATION

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what did a poor guys get for christmast ? brain tumor.

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A man wakes up after only one hour of sleep due to his insomnia. He starts to cry because his wife just passed away and his parents were recently killed in a car accident. The man gathers his composure, takes a shower, and drives to his minimum wage job. He was expelled from high school for an assault he didnt even commit and has no money to get an education. At work, he accidentally drops a box of valuable, fragile electronic parts and gets fired by his boss. He goes home to his dirty 1 bedroom apartment and contemplates suicide. He decides to wait as his favorite tv show is on. He turns on the tv to the news his show has been cancelled. The man, depressed, suicidal and alone, picks up his .22 and kills himself. There is no God.

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Why did the old man die? He was old.

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Run it over with a lawn mower!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because it ran away and it's coop was on the other side of the road

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the teacher enters the room she sits in her chair and yells, "i am your substitute teacher. get out your books and write me a story."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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