your mom is so fat that she had to start going to a gym to exercise and get her weight under control.

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If you could eliminate one thing in your life, what would it be ? My ex.

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Dylan F is stupid He goes to his cousins house Then falls into a pit Moves on

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face" The horse responds "My daughter has cancer"

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Roses are red, The grass is greener, Every time i'm with you, I touch my wiener.

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what is the meaning of life? i dont know, but im fairly sure its not 42

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Did the Jewish surgeon charge extra for circumcisions? Nope, he just kept the tips

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What's hot and cold at the same time? Hotcold.

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What is green and if it fell on you from a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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What did the korean say to the other korean. I don't know i dont speak korean.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? What do you mean what's the difference?!?! One of them is a fucking elephant!

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What is the worst party ever? Nazi.

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A: Knock knock. B: Come in. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ?cash(p)

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"How high are you?" "I don't know, sir." "Well, look at the god damn altimeter."

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roses are red grass is greener get in the bed and suck on my wiener

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why did the man cross the rode? He didn't he got hit by a bus

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Three men stumble upon an ancient lamp in the desert. They sell it to a museum and split the profit evenly.

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Balboa. Watch as Apollo Creed`s nephews son is trained by Rocky Balboa`s grandson`s neighbor to participate in the new highschool musical will they win this years golden plate? Spoiler: No they did well but lost to Clubber Lang`s and Ivan Drago`s gay sons adopted lovechild`s ballet number. But people kept cheering "BALBOA BALBOA BALBOA!" As Rocky Balboa`s grandson kept yelling "ADRIAAN, ADRIAAAAAAN!" while a picture of Rocky`s grandchild is shown in the background together with the American flag. Moral: This script may or might not have been made for a quick cash in, anyway, its coming out the next radioactive winter 2705.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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took my chevy to the levy but the levy was dry

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What is big, round, hairy, black with a little bit of white and red stripes, large feet, small hands, squinty eyes and a purple beret? Nothing. How ridiculous.

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did you hear about the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off? he's all right now

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What happens if you accidentally say your best-male friend's name instead of your boyfriend's name during sex? Nothing, they're both named Adam.

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Jet fuel doesn't melt steel beams,heat does.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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