How did Helen Keller’s parents punish her? By grounding her.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? rockband

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first one says "Boy, it sure is hot in here." The second one says "Holly shit! A talking muffin!" As muffins generally don't talk.

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Slow and steady wins the race, But only in some cases. Mostly never.

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What did the homeless man find on the side of the street? A pile of dead babies.

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Why is Justin bieber gay? Because he is atracted to men

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Why did Jimmy never like old people? Because he was abused as a child by one.

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Your mama was so fat that when she did the splits she gave the floor a hickey

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How do you not get disappointed at the ending for "Mass Effect 3"? Don't play the game, dumbass.

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Sometimes i like to stand on my chair and pretend that i am a carrot.

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every man comes from between a women's legs for the rest of their lives they try to get back in

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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guess what what ...

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Q: Why wasn't the baby playing with his blocks? A: Because his face was stapled to the floor

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What would you do for a klondike bar? Pay for it, eat it and then proceed on disposing the packaging of the klondike bar

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Q:What's worse than watching the show Jersey Shore? A:Nothing.

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Why did Kallum come to Getaway? Because he ran out of hats

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Two antennas falls in love. They get married. The wedding was horrible, but the reception was great.

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Why do things made by Glen taste so good? Because he has mastered the cream

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BLACK PEOPLE! (im black so its not racist)

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A man walked into a room and said to his friend, "I am about to show you something amazing." He claps twice and the lights turn on. He is using a device called The Clapper made by Joseph Enterprises, Inc. using advanced technology that was patented in 1985.

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You are joking right?

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What does the fox say? Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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