How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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What happens when you ask a blind guy to drive you somewhere? What happens if you ask a blind guy to drive? You will end up in a four way accident with 8 people dead 2 of which children and 1 baby. You might survive but the blind guy won't so you will have to go to court for him on the issue. You realize that you are terrible when it comes to the law and you get yourself thrown in jail for 2 years. When you get out you are so tired of getting butt raped that you go out and do it to someone else. Then you go back to jail an the process repeats it's self because this is the American justice system. We could work on it a little bit. But yeah, don't ask a blind guy to drive, your butt says thanks.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. i have Alzheimer's, cheese on toast.

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what worse than bitting into an apple and finding a worm bitting into a worm and finding an apple

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Q: what white hard and huge and it can kill you if you fall out of a tree? A: a refrigerator

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whats worse than loseing your dog? getting raped by a clown.

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A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black.

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What's big, black, and impossible to swallow? A parking lot. Among many other things.

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What's worse than a bee sting? A large number of things ranging from getting stung by two bees to falling off a cliff.

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what do grown up's do at night when everyone lese is asleep? Go to sleep as well

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Why is the old lady crying? I threw a fridge at her.

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her with a knife.

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I still remember the last thing my grandfather said before he kicked the bucket. He said: "Hey, I wonder how far I can kick this bucket."

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Why was the emo kid sad? Because he gets raped by his dad every night

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Knock, knock! Who's there? No one. No one actually knocked on your door because this is just a joke.

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What did the lady say to the boy who's parents just died? Haha, your parents just died.

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What was John Lennon's last hit? The pavement.

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You wanna hear what's totally out of this world? The moon

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why did the hobo want cancer so badly? he really needed a haircut

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Knock knock Who's there? To To whom? No, its To Who now, since I married

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Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow? Because her dog was blind too.

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Knock Knock Whos there? Knock knock? Whos there? Knock knock. WHOS IS THERE?!?!? Knock Knock is, my name is Knock Knock.

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Why did the Grizzly bear refrain from attacking the hiker? It didn't. The hiker was torn to shreds within minutes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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