What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table isn't a whore.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How do you stop an asshole from being an asshole toward you? Shoot him in the head.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

whats a parkour kid? someone who jumps off things and is a pre-teen with adhd

thumb_up thumb_down +17

My friends a Jehovahs Witness. He got all pissed at me because he tried to tell me a knock knock joke and I ignored him.......i totally stole this joke lol.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Persond A: A guy blows himself and his family up with a hand grenade Person B: HEY!!! Thats not funny thats how my family died

thumb_up thumb_down +17

a man was hired for a job. he made a lot of money and was able to support his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Your mom is so poor; she doesn't have a job.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

wanna hear a clean joke? bob took a bath with bubbles. wanna hear a dirty joke? bubbles was a man :) i heard this somewhere and it made me laugh :)

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How do you fit 10 babies in a bowl? With a blender. How do you get them out of the bowl? You don't, you've already been arrested for multiple cases of infanticide.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

a man was beating his wife his wife asks him to stop he says no and continues beating her

thumb_up thumb_down +15

why does the pie have apples in it? it was apple pie.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the kid in the wheelchair get for Christmas? AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Roses are red, violets are blue shut the hell up, and sit the hell down

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How do you keep an elephant from charging? Ask nicely.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did Helen Keller name her dog? Well i would imagine one of various names for a domesticated animal and she would choose the name based on her likes towards nature or an element of nature, being the educated individual she i would think she may name it base on a person of importance, such as an author or maybe a writer that inspires her.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What does Pluto and a creamsicle have in common? Neither of them are a planet.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Your flying on a canoe, and one of the wheels breaks off. How many pancakes does it take to fix it? Trick question there is a gorilla on board.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, and the very next day, I died because I didn't have a heart.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the chicken cross the road? Peer pressure

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the woman have no boobs? Breast cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +15

what did the lion tell the jellyfish? nothing, both lions and jellyfishes cant talk, and even if they could the chances of a lion meeting a jellyfish are remote

thumb_up thumb_down +15

jamie and danel texta like to make love to each other using a gerbal as a toy when they make love they get a african covered in jelly to help them.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Wanna hear a joke? no

thumb_up thumb_down +15

I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I have a pint or two.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops