What's black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

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Knock knock. Who's there? We are members of the church of Jesus Christ of latter day saints.

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this is madness! Madness? no, nevah... THIS IS SPARTA!!!!!! NO, THIS IS PATRICK!!!

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What do you call a black person who sells drugs? A pharmacist.

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-What's the difference between Michael Phelps and Hitler? Michael Phelps can finish a race.

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why did the kitten drink its milk? because it doesnt have a motor so has no need for petrol.

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a dead baby? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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what is the meaning of life? i dont know, but im fairly sure its not 42

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Why did the chicken cross the dairy farm? Sex.

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Life on the line? I just do it for the kill and the potential savage rape and consumption! And yeah, a man is not a man but a boy if he cant protect his lady friends. HEY WAIT A FUCKING MOMENT! Why you playing so hard to get now? YOUR FLESH IS MINE! It is just like a billion pages ago where we where talking VERY down and dirty.

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It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

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What's more epic than a man in a gorilla suit? A man i a gorilla suit with a banana.

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What did the White guy say to the balck guy? "How are you?"

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How do you get Suzy to get off the swing? Ask her to move.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have schizophrenic, and don't have any friends

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How can you get a handicap black man to walk again? You don't...... Unless you motivate him with fried chicken. Anti-anti-joke!

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I don't often drink beer, but when I do, I make the poor decision to attempt to drive while intoxicated, kill a pedestrian, and end up in jail with a hangover, a DUI, and an account of vehicular homicide. Don't drink and drive simultaneously.

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Why was the little girl crying? Because she was hanging upside down from an oak tree.

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Why did the cat scratch the person? Because it's mean.

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an old lady walked into a bar, used the bathroom and left. THE END

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whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whroe whore whore whore whroe

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why was the postman sad? because ran over a small child with his truck

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What's the difference between Rebecca Black and your mom? Nope! Chuck Testa.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops