Q: What happens after you have sex with Michelle Obama? A: You wake up and kill yourself.

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Why did the hamster cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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Your momma soo fat.... that if she doesnt start exercising and eating right she will be more likely to get adult onset diabetes.

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Whats the difference between a kangaroo and a kangeroot ? Ones a marsupial. The others a Geordie stuck in a lift.

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What did the tree say to the plant. Nothing tree's cant talk.

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What did Stephen Hawking say to his daughter? Nothing, his illness prevents him from talking. And letting a high-tech wheelchair make human sounds isn't talking!!!

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What's the difference between apples and oranges? You can't wash a window with a spade.

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What is E.T. short For? So he can fit on ship

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Where's my baby??

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there once was a man, he was old, and he had one wish...do you wanna know that wish? Well i don't know it because he died two seconds ago from a heart attack. Oh Well...

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i found waldo.

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Hey, I want to because you are really sweet and deserve it, and damn you are hot, but thats secondary in your case, in every case actually, otherwise I would just be doing it with meat whose soul and thoughts I hate/dislike/detest/etc, and that is not who I am. Once huh? I mean I said night/day/shower/breakfast table... Not so sure I can last for that long with a girl as hot and sweet as you for that long. Kidding, hey, best friend huh? Wow, I mean that`s really sweet, and you are really a special friend to me, but uh, to be honest, best friend? I barely know you... I hate this part of myself, I am blunt with that honesty thing, I may just have insulted you, but you know, I also need to be able to live with myself If I am going to enjoy life.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? The answer is not definitive and involves several factors including the size of the woodchuck, the woodchuck's teeth, the climate in which that woodchuck lives, and the tenacity of that particular woodchuck at achieving his goal.

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hi hey i hate you why you ate my mother she tasted good i like fried chicken ITS A SMALL WORLD! SO DO I well lets go to the beach ok

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a bmw? I don't have a bmw in my garage.

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When Chuck Norris claps, his two hands slam together, creating rather loud soud.

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Why did the woman come out of the kitchen? She didn't.

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What color is Michael Jackson? Pale because he's dead.

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How do you make a miner sad? You cut his d*ck off then feed it to his family.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7 7 eight 9

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Why was the tree sad? Because a bird shat on it.

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Carlos was on the computer writing anti-jokes. They all scuked.

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If your Jewish, then don't go to Germany.

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What do you get when you pull down your pants in public? Most likely a criminal record for indecent exposure.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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