what do you call cheese thats not yours? A: stolen cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

quiz is to quizzicle as test is to test___.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the cat say to the dog? Miaow. What did the dog say to the cat? Miaow.

thumb_up thumb_down

My dog has no nose. How does it smell? It doesn't

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A man walks into a police station with a gun... He is there to turn it in, he found it on the side of the road and realized that this situation would best be handled by the proper authorities.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

yo mama is so fat, she's obeise

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Roses are red, Violets are blue, i thought violets were violet. hmph.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What happened when the princess kissed a frog. Warts, all over her lips

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Knock Knock. Erm, sorry to be weird, but can you perhaps use the doorbell, because it's new and has a novelty chime. I'm proud of it and get a little chuckle everytime it rings in the vain hope that, perhaps you, the visitor, may also find it entertaining. Who's there anyway?'

thumb_up thumb_down -4

I met a muslim girl the other day Shes the bomb

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What happened when the man fell off the boat? He went into the water and was viciously mauled by 5 alligators then ran over by another boat.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Roses are red, Violets are blue, We have your test results, You have cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Whats the difference between a kangaroo and a kangeroot ? Ones a marsupial. The others a Geordie stuck in a lift.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why was the man attracted to other men? Because he was gay, and that is typically what happens when people are attracted to members of the same sex, and it is as natural as a man being attracted to women.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why can't you borrow money from a leprechaun? Because leprechauns don't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did Helen Keller name her dog? ruh-ruh-blah-blah-bluh

thumb_up thumb_down -10

When you aren't feeling well, you should see a doctor like this: https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcS5u4lryU5PzmLUKCGEKZgDWMeQ_96VLEKFGu7Wvk-4M7UXHkOXBw

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A:You wanna here a good anti joke B:Yeah/sure A:Me too

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the Blonde do when she saw train tracks? She walked over slowly, looked both ways, and crossed safely

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why do dinosaurs have no friends? Because they are all dead

thumb_up thumb_down -16

I hear eating an apple a day keeps the other apples in check.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops