A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The priest has his papers but the rabbi is sent to a concentration camp.

What did Santa Claus get for Christmas? Santa isn't real.

Knock knock. After 1 and a half minutes of waiting, Phil assumes his friend is not home, and promptly leaves.

Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says to the other muffin, "Sure is hot in here." The other muffin says, "AHHHH! A talking muffin."

Roses are green. Violets are purple. Charlie Sheen. Looks a turtle.

Two frogs go to the bar only to leave because frogs can't open up doors.

What happened when the princess kissed a frog. Warts, all over her lips

Your mother is so stupid that she had to study, a lot.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

Why does it get hot after a basketball game? Because of the crowd all breathing out carbon dioxide and the high level of activity generating excess body heat.

why was six afraid of seven? because seven threatened to kill him and his family.

why do the jewish guy and italian girl talk? i dont know why any decent minded italian would talk to a jew so i don't know.

What is so sad about 5 black people going over a cliff in a Ferrari? That was my Ferrari by darragh hamilton

There is a Asian a black guy and a white guy the black guy loves apples the white guy loves pears and the Asian loves Macaroni the white guy gets a apple the black guy gets a pear and the Asian has no lunch so the black guy kills the white guy for the apple and the Asian kills the black guy because he is hungry

A blonde, brunette, and a redhead are taking a chemistry exam. They each get a solid B on the test.

Oh you have herpes? yeah, there's an app for that.

What do a worm and a human have in common? They both have arms and legs apart from the worm

What is long, hard, and full of semen? An erected penis.

Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no one can draw a perfect circle.

People shouldnt make fun of holocaust jokes..my grandpa died cause of it! he fell off the gaurd tower

What is red and fluffy?... Your teddy bear covered in blood...

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Whats the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of dead babies? You can't unload one with a pitchfork

Why can't Elvis Presley drive a car backwards? Because he's dead!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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