Guy walks into a bar. He orders a drink called "Vampire poison". The bartender gives him the drink. The man drinks it and dies. No he was not a vampire, he was just a man with a history of heart failures.

What do you call a black man carrying a T.V? Someone that is helping me move.

How many kleptomaniacs does t take to screw in a lightbulb? What lightbulb?

why did little johnny start choking? because somebody shoved a bag down his throat

If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be. He could not be. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. He's either in great danger or has a psychological disorder.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, when the bass droped, my balls did too.

Why didn't Jane go to school last Thursday? It was summer. No one went to school last Thursday.

Knock Knock? Who's there? Doctor Doctor Who? It is a science fiction show about a time traveller

What do you call a man with a spade stuck in his head? An ambulance, he may be in need of urgent medical assistance

whats worse then getting a parking ticket? the plague

What happens when a unicorn gets her period? You know it's a girl.

Allah walked into AK Bar

apple was gonna make a smaller ipod for kids but decided not to because they didnt want the name to be itouch kids.

qu'est ce qui est petit et poilu? un asticot poilu

Joey: hey bobby who you talking to? Bobby: oh yeah I forgot to tell you your mom died.

Q: What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a sheep? A: A genetic aberration that is an insult to both God and man.

when chuck norris does a pushup, he is tearing the muscles in his biceps, deltoids, core, and triceps in order to make them stronger.

What's the difference between a panda and a baby? I don't have a baby in my freezer

When life gives you melons you may be dyslexic.

Why did two girls need one cup? they didnt feel like washing an extra dish to drink their coca cola

Q:Whats yellow and white and sits at the bottom of a pool? A: A baby with slashed floaties Q:Whats red and gory and sits at the top of a pool? A: Floaties with a slahed baby

A Jew walking in the street sees a homeless person asking for charity. He reaches to his pocket, grabs a penny, greets her with a nice smile and gives away the penny.

What did one bunny rabbit say to the other bunny rabbit? I'm a bunny rabbit!

whats worst then geting a used condom put in your mouth geting wraped by mario then lugi

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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