What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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What is Kanye West's favorite type of sea-food? Lobster Bisque with a side of french fries.

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I dont often wash my hands in the bathroom but when i do its so people dont think im gross.

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Q: Who would win in a fight, Chuck Norris, or a Tank? A: Chuck Norris, because his hidden fist in his chin gives him 3 fists to the tank's 0.

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why did the man go to prison? he was a serial rapist.

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What did Santa Claus get for Christmas? Santa isn't real.

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What's funny about four black guys driving off a cliff in a Cadillac? They were my friends...

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You are as dumb as a dumb looking person.

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What happened when the man fell off the boat? He went into the water and was viciously mauled by 5 alligators then ran over by another boat.

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Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says to the other muffin, "Sure is hot in here." The other muffin says, "AHHHH! A talking muffin."

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Your mother is so obese that she has over the recommended daily calorie intake on a regular basis.

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What does it take to make the best anti-joke ever? not this

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Why does it get hot after a basketball game? Because of the crowd all breathing out carbon dioxide and the high level of activity generating excess body heat.

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If life throws you lemons, get under some shelter so you don't get pelted by flying fruit and worry about making lemonade later.

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What is so sad about 5 black people going over a cliff in a Ferrari? That was my Ferrari by darragh hamilton

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Why did the elephant cross the road? To get to the other side.

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A black man was walking down the street wearing a ski mask. It was cold outside.

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What can fit between breasts? Is long? And gets hard when you jerk it? A seatbelt.

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what is the difference between a pile of dead babies and a cadilac. a cadilac is something i want

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What's worse than seeing Helen Keller behind the wheel of a car? Being run over by Helen Keller.

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Why did the pedophile go to the park? He lost his dog.

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why do the jewish guy and italian girl talk? i dont know why any decent minded italian would talk to a jew so i don't know.

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Whats the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of dead babies? You can't unload one with a pitchfork

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What is red and fluffy?... Your teddy bear covered in blood...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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