there's a worm in my lime at least it doesn't have scurvy

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jamie and danel texta like to make love to each other using a gerbal as a toy when they make love they get a african covered in jelly to help them.

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What is green, red, and goes 70 mph? A frog in a blender

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How do you cut the sea in half? You can't. There are an odd amount of letters. You would have to jeopardize the "e", but then it would no longer be "sea".

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Why was the baby crying? Because he was tied to a railroad track. How did the baby die? He had a bomb strapped to him. How did the bomb explode? It got ran over by a train.

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Roses are red, violets are blue shut the hell up, and sit the hell down

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Persond A: A guy blows himself and his family up with a hand grenade Person B: HEY!!! Thats not funny thats how my family died

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Why was the blackman fired from his job? Beacuse he was late too many times which was unacceptable.

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What do you call a black elephant? An elephant.

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What did the man think as the foul baseball flew rapidly toward his face? Oh man, I thought my tickets were to an NBA game.

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A man and a cucumber walk into a bar. They sit three seats away from each other and intermediately give nervous looks to one another. Finally the man stands up and declares "I hate bar jokes" and walks out.

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Why does mcguigan get made fun of ? Because he is gay with Jack Walsh

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How many Japanese people does it take to make a whirlpool? - None, because they're all dead.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Hop in the van or I will rape you

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Q: what smells like cheese and tastes like cheese? A: cheese

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your momma's so fat that she weighs a lot

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Three girls are walking in the woods they see tracks one thinks it is a bear the other thinks it is a deer the last one thinks it is a lion They all argue till they get hit by a train and realized they were train tracks

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What did the white man say to the black man that was very interested in the story he had to tell? Cool Story bro, tell it again!

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I man walks into a bar. He orders a drink, takes around 13.5 minutes to drink it, then walks out. It takes him 10.7 minutes to walk home, 2.8 minutes less than he spent in the bar. When he is home, he decides to have a bath. 7.8 minutes into bathing, a radio plugged into an outlet near his tub falls into the water with him and he is killed. 29 miles away a woman sneezes twice.

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Roses are blue Violets are red Sugar are you And so is sweet

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says: "I forgot to store nuts for winter, now i am dead."

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Nero, sure you are okay?

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What happens if you fall of a cliff You die

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(Pretend you're an orphan.) Knock knock. Who's there? Not your parents.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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