How do you wake up Lady Gaga in the morning You poke her face

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What's blue and wiggles? A baby in a bag

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A duck walks into a bar and orders 2 beers and a shot. The bartender says "That'll be four fifty." The duck says he doesn't have any money and asks if the bartender can put it on his bill. The bartender says "No." He then picked the duck up by the neck and raped him mercilessly. "That's what he gets" one patron said. "Yeah, he was asking for it"

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So a clown walks up to you and asks, "What'll always STICK with you? The violent disposition of humanity."

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What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas? Love and attention from his parents.

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so a man walks into a store looking for a new sheet,the cashier he goes to is chinese He leaves with a new sheet and is satisfied with it,oh wait,he gave me a pile of shit,sorry guys i had to -chuckles

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Q: Why did the white mother with a newborn baby lock her car doors? A: Because a black guy walked by.

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a dog jumping up and catching a frisbi

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a man touches girls butt ...... she sharts her pants

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Justin Bieber's gay!! My butt is sexier!(;

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What did the black boy get for Christmas? A bike his parents bought him.

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

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What did the monkey say to the newlywed couple? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A pogo stick. Just kidding. Cancer.

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Wat did the man say to the other man when they were alone. We dont know. They were alone.

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What's the difference between a chicken? One leg is both the same

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Why was the man dress in a suit ? He had a job

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Two peanuts were walking down the street..........pepper.

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A black guy and a mexican get into a car Who is driving? Whoever takes a seat in the drivers side of the car

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How many kids does it take to get a day off of school? ...26

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What do you call someone who can legally murder? OJ Simpson

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Little molly says she wants to have a baby when she grows up because her little baby brother died of ta-sacs 6 months after birth.

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Sarah: Knock knock. Jim: Who’s there? Sarah: It’s me, Sarah. Open the door. Jim: It’s me Sarah open the door who? Sarah: Please Jim, it’s freezing out here. Jim: That wasn’t a very funny joke, Sarah. Sarah: Shut the fuck up and let me in. Jim: Ok.

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How many raisins can you fit in a box? It depends on the size of the raisins and the box.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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