How old am I? If you guessed correctly, you are psychic. If you guessed incorrectly, I will send flying gnomes to capture and torture you. Unless, of course, you are of a racial minority in which case nothing will happen to you because I am not racist. :P

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why is it good to be a fireman? because they save lives

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It got hit by a school bus and died.

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What would a gay, transgender, mexican man say to another? We could have butt sex.

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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Roses are red Violets are blue There's suppose to be a fourth line.

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You know what makes me sick? Bacteria

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What did one door say to the other door? - Nothing, doors can't talk

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"I'm gonna fight fire with fire!" "won't you just get more fire?" "True..."

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Some of these jokes are funny, others are sad.

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Your moms so fat, she needed repruductive surgury.

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How did Bella fly? Very badly.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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No smoking No eating No drinking On this bus Didn't say anything about sniffing

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Knock Knock! Who's there? The doctor. You have aids.

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Q:Why is rugby one of the safest sports to play? A: It isn't , it is in fact very dangerous.

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Why is the chicken on the road? Cuz he died trying to get to the other side.

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What is a pirates favorite crime? Piracy, which is still a serious problem in today's society.

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Two Jews walk into a pub. They don't order a ham sandwich.

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When life gives you Pure Filtered Water, Sweeteners (High Fructose Corn Syrup, Sugar), Lemon Juice from Concentrate, Less Than 0.5% of Each: Natural Flavors, Citric Acid (Provides Tartness), Modified Cornstarch, Glycerol Ester of Wood Rosin, Sodium Hexametaphosphate and Sodium Benzoate and Potassium Sorbate and Edta (to Protect Taste), Red 40 Make Lemonade.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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What do you get when you cross The Incredible Hulk and King Kong? Two angry fictional characters.

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Jack, John, Justin, Joseph and Jimmy walk into a bar. They order a pint of beer and start wondering what their names have in common.

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What did the nazi say to the jew? Nothing, he shot 'em

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops