how do you make a cripple depressed? stairs..

"Doctor, Doctor, Help I feel like a pair of curtains" "I've got some cream for that".

What's the difference between Newt Gingrich's cat and a hand grenade? Gingrich's cat is a domesticated quadriped mammal, a hand grenade is a small bomb that can be thrown by hand

What do you call John Lennon without glasses? A skeleton, because John Lennon is dead.

God Does exist to all thoes atheist out there!!! All you have to have is faith. I corinthians 1:18 "for the message of the cross is foolishness to thoes who are perishing, but for thoes who are saved it is the power in christ Jesus!! <3

Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their car with a coat hanger. They had left the keys inside and no-one was around to help.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a gun, get in the van.

An asian walks into class to take a math test. He did not study and consistently misbehaves and promptly fails.

What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a larger worm in your apple.

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was deaf, dumb, and mentally retarded; you sexist fiend.

Why should you never push a Mexican off a bike? Because he will file a lawsuit against you in the event of an injury.

How do you get dislikes on anti-joke.com? You can dislike your own post from several different IP addresses.

Once upon a time there lived 3 polar bears; a mummy polar bear, a daddy polar bear and a baby polar bear. Ond day the baby polar bear said to the daddy polar bear "I don't feel like a polar bear, I'm cold!" and the daddy polar bear said "You look like a polar bear."

A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

Roses are red Bob is dead My name is Dave Your a microwave

Heard about the dyslexic fellow who sold his soul to Santa? That worked out OK, but Christmas was hell.

why did the cow say baaaaa ? it was a stupid cow

Why isn't Michael Jackson good at chess? Because he's dead.

What's black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

Hey, you why you say poo poo nae nae watch me whip, and do the dougie, and then happy halloween? Potato Salad

A dyslexic walks into church and asks the priest. "Father is there a dog."

How do you get the icing in the middle of a cupcake? Cupcake raper...Duh

Q. What do you call a black pilot A. A pilot

How did the chicken cross the road? Suicide. There was a graveyard across the street. RIP Mr. Chicken.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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