Why does the Pentagon have twice as many toilets built as is legally obliged? Racial segregation

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yo mama so dumb... because she was not properly educated

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Boy it's sure cold out today. Die

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What does it take to make the best anti-joke ever? not this

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Why did Jim go to the hospital? To get an autopsy.

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How do you know if a woman is cheating on you? If you catch her cheating on you

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Hey, what do you call an absent-minded person? I'm sorry what did you say?

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One day a black man went and bought a car with his own hard-earned money.

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How do you confuse your algebra teacher? Tell her to prove that she exists.

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Why did the chicken get hit by a bus? He tried to cross the road.

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Three children had stumbled upon a magic slide. There was a sign on the slide stating that what ever they shouted, they would land in a pool of it at the bottom of the slide. So the first child began sliding and shouted out "JELLY" and sure enough he landed in a large pool of jelly when he reached the bottom of the slide. The next child, so excited to go down the slide began sliding down. She shouted out "LOLLIES" and sure enough she landed in a large pool of sweets and chocolates at the bottom of the slide. Finally, the youngest girl in the group mounted the slide. As she was going down she was enjoying the slide so much that she shouted "POOS POOS" forgetting the rule of the magic slide and finally landing in a large pool of excrement.

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One day 2 people were gonna fight after school and the final bell wrung then they started the mtch and the challenger says, "Hey whats the one thing that you say when you don't want to fight and ypu let the other person win?" The other guy says, "I give up?" Then the challenger says, " I WIN!!!"

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What did the doctor say to his wife? We have grown apart over the years, I want a divorce.

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Yo momma so fat that they've diagnosed her with type 2 diabetes and she has an extremely elevated risk of heart disease. You should really encourage her to try and eat better and get more exercise.

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Want to hear a dirty joke? A pig fell in the mud…

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A man walks into a bar and says give me a 84 bourbon, when he gets it he spits it out and says this is no 84 bourbon this is a 74 scotch, So he asks for a 68 brandy , when he gets it he spits it out again in disgust saying this isn't a 68 brandy this is a 87 whiskey!, than the old man next to him says here try this, the man says what is it?, the old man just says try it, so the man does, he spits it out and shouts this is urine!, the old man says correct, now tell me how old i am.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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What happend to the chicken that crossed the road? He got hit by a truck.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

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why did the kid sit alone at lunch? he had no friends

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Whats funny about a guy with no legs? I bought him a wheelchair.

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What did the man with candy say to the little boy? I have Candy.

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Why aren't there Olympics in Mexico? Idk Because everyone that can run jump or swim are already across the boarder.

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What do you hear when the world trade center collapsed?, no seriously I wasn't even three yet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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