What is the worst part about eating a vegetable? Eating the wheelchair too.

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Gods like Santa one day you'll get to the age of reason and see how dumb you were

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? ruh-ruh-blah-blah-bluh

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Roses are green. Violets are purple. Charlie Sheen. Looks a turtle.

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A black woman and a white woman are in a bar. They don't talk to each other though because they don't know each other. THE END.

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there once was a man, he was old, and he had one wish...do you wanna know that wish? Well i don't know it because he died two seconds ago from a heart attack. Oh Well...

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why did andy wake up this morning. because he wasnt tired anymore

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fhfhfjjil;tyjgfkileg ryj ftrgndfhuiltyjgn

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Hey! How do you do a four strand plait? With four strands.

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How many babies does it take to cover a roof? Depends on how thinly you slice them.

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What did the Farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor?"

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Q:Why did the boy drop his ice cream? A: A terrorist threw a refrigerator at him then slapped the ice cream out of his hand

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What do you get when you cross a moose with a crépe? A moose with a crépe up his nose. -ilikecrepes97

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Knock Knock! ... Whos there? ... Daisy ... Daisy who? ... Daisy me trolling... ;)

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Q: whats red, spins, and screams? A: a baby in a blender

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How do you confuse a bar tender? You ask him how tender he is.

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Why was the fat guy so sad? Because he knew he would die sooner or later, just like every other human being

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69

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Grandpa loved a good joke, he died laughing. The doctor said it was a severe stroke probably brought on by smoking aggravated by high cholesterol and high blood pressure.

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Why did the blonde fail her drug test? She's actually never did drugs before but since she didn't show up for appointment, that counts as an automatic fail.

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What's worse than watching paint dry or grass grow? Watching paint dry on grass.

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A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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whats worse than having the flu? having cancer

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I hate it when people pour my cereal. They don't know how much I want. They don't know my life. They don't know what I've been through.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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