Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Open up.

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What did the boy with no parents get for Christmas from his Grampa? Nothing because his Grampa had alzheimer's disease -Flap

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I like to give help to people, expecting that they will be my slaves for life.

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What begins with "F" and ends in "uck"? There are multiple words or word combinations that begin with "F" and end in "uck," such as fat duck, so you dont need me to tell you, be creative.

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Q: How did the black guy die? A: After a long battle with a terrible case of pneumonia he struggled to breath and died a slow and peaceful death... R.I.P. Dad

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A blind man walks into a bar. Nobody is surprised.

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Whats worse than being out in the cold? Having cancer.

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What is the similarity between Moses and Muhammad? They both have the same letter starting their names

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Why did the Chicken cross the roead? It didn't

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What's worse than a bee sting? A large number of things ranging from getting stung by two bees to falling off a cliff.

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what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

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What do you call a fridge painted red and brown? A fridge.

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? The chicken. The chicken always comes first, that's why the egg never comes at all.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He did it for fitness.

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Twilight is so bad, I read it and personally didn't like it as a book.

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Why did Tommy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Tommy.

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why didn't sue come to her son's baseball game? because he doesn't play baseball, he lost his arms in a horrible plane crash. besides, sue died in that accident anyway.

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Q: What did the police officer tell the man without a shirt on? A: Put a shirt on.

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Why did the Black man buy some slaves? They were his family

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A jewish man walks into a bar has a drink, then walks out of the bar.

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knock knock, who's there me me who he opens the door a kills yo

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin Holy shit a talking muffin

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why didn't the donkey go to the party? Because, unfortunately he did not have the required linguistic skills to communicate with the person inviting. This is obviously dependent on whether the person who invited him was a human, if it was another donkey then perhaps this would of happened. However, this is also very unlikely as donkeys do not have parties or really communicate

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What did the soldier get for his birthday? Shot in the face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops