If you have 5 bucks and Chuck Norris has 5 buck you both have 5 bucks

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was late for its laser bypass surgery.

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Wanna hear a joke about my penis? Oh wait I shouldn't tell you, it's too long

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Why am I telling you this joke? Because the person who did it before me mentioned that he enterted this, agreed to the Terms of Service and clicked submit - but missed out that he also typed in the capcha. Mine said: never quit.

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A platypus walks into a bar. Why is there a butter knife in my basement?

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What was wrong with the man watching a black and white television program? He wasn't watching a black and white television program at all-he actually had color blindness.

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Why was the girl-scout crying? I hit her in the knee with a baseball bat.

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Why did the family sue disney? Because at a meet and greet location mickey mouse shot their youngest in the heart.

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What is big white and will kill you if it falls out of a tree in winter A refrigerator

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If David has 40 chocolate bars and eats 35 what does David have now? Diabetes, David has diabetes.

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The only positive thing in my life, is the HIV test! Lymmel

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Why didn't the woman have a penis? Because she was female.

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i have a black man in my family tree. i am 25% african american among several other ethnicities.

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Andoni was here

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what do you call an animal thats black and white and red all over? an elephant

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A man takes his girlfriend ice skating on a lake. As they are ice skating she says "we should go back home and fu..." At this point they fall through a thin spot on the ice and they both drown in the lake. Fish ate their dead bodies

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Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's. Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Chris. Chris who? Wow, I thought we were better friends than that.

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What can hurt you if you pee on it? A rabid grizzly bear

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my own dog bit my penis off, it was then put down. it was the worst day of my life.

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Two men and a woman go to lunch together at a restaurant in New York City. The first man says, "I'm glad that we're finally doing this." The second man says, "Yeah, me too." The woman concurs.

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WHAT DOES A NUMBER DO WHEN IT'S HORNE? MATHDERBATION

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What's worse than shitting whilst fucking? Losing your eye! Kelvin Yang

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm not good at rhyming turd

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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