roses are red, hills are green. i know you're ugly and i know I'm so mean.

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What has two legs but can't walk A paraplegic

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What's the difference between a piano and a fish? A piano is an instrument, fish is an animal

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Why'd the kid stick ice up his nose? To keep his lunch cold.

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What's the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of babies? One's used for bowling and the other's just sad.

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yo momma so fat dora couldn't even explore her!!!

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Your momma smells so bad that she purchased arm and hammer products to improve upon her natural scent.

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Why didnt the boy go to school? His mum threw a fridge at him!

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My Japanese girlfriend dumped me today...Oh well, theres plenty more in the sea

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Q: Whats metal and shiny? A: You're lame childhood accomplishments.

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Hey I just met you, And this is crazy, I've got dementia, Hey I just met you.

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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Q:your jetski loses a wheel. how many pancakes does it take to fix your house? A:blue berry icecream.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, It's none of my business.

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What's the difference between my dog and my wife? I respect my dog.

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Why did the car go down the road? Someone was driving it. Why did the car stop? Because he suddenly fell and had a stroke.

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Why did the guy run out of the whorehouse? Because when she spread her legs it looked like she was pulling apart a grilled ham and cheese sandwich.

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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What is a pirates favorite crime? Piracy, which is still a serious problem in today's society.

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, as asks the man running the stand, "Hey, got any grapes?" The man suffers a heart attack from the shock of a talking duck

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Did you hear about the blonde that crashed her car? No. Is she okay?

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Yo mama so old, she must take arthritus medicine to keep out of extreme pain.

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Why did little Annie fall off the swing? Cause her penis was too heavy.

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A Johnson walks into a hole. Why am I in this hole? Because rape is not an option.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops