Really sorry Red, I did not mean to leave you hanging, and I hope you wont leave me hanging either, I just need my meds or thinks can get ugly, my health, I can tell you and even show you what my condition is, and heck show you my meds, but there are certain things even I wont spread on horsehead network, you know, people are so bitchy here on the internet, and if people knew what I got, yeaaah, I may start getting green thumbs, and I HAAAAAAATE those. Seriously, on a scale of zero (my ass) to ten, how insane do you see me as?

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How do you cut the sea in half? You can't. There are an odd amount of letters. You would have to jeopardize the "e", but then it would no longer be "sea".

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How do you make a boy cry? Pour soup on his head.

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I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I have a pint or two.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman

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One day a object is flying overhead in a city and a man in a crowd of pedestrians yells, "It's a bird!" another man yells, "It's a plane!" No one else says anything as they stare at the two men that had become so excited about a possibly seeing a bird or an airplane.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was strapped to the first monkey.

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What's similar between a black man and jelly babies? Nothing

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"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Red." "Red who?" "Red any good books lately?" Suddenly, the séance lost credibility.

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What do you call a squirrel in my yard? Dead.

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Three guys walk into a bar: a Priest, a rapist, and a pedophile...and two other guys

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How do you confuse a blond? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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Whats slower than molasses? Slightly thicker molasses.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? it was thrown

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"Good Morning, I'm Dr. Pepper" "Like the drink?" "Huh... yes... just like the drink" Would you mind to sit right here Mr..... "Nike" "Oh, just like the shoes" "How do you dare!"

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Do you know what kind of world I dream of? Until you tell me, no I don't. How could I? I'm not telepathic, after all.

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But I don't use all those things myself Nero, I do however teach people how to use it.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Tulips are red, As you can tell...a lot of blood has been spilt today.

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How do rocket scientists exchange greetings? They say "hi"

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Mexicans don't use lightbulbs because they can't afford them.

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what's worse than stubbing your toe? 9/11

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"My father walked out on me." "Oh that's strange because I saw him yesterday and he had no legs."

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Why should you never eat a jellyfish on a Wednesday? Because it will sting you with its poison.

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Why is the interesting goat so talented at chess? He's Bobby Fischer's dad.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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