Yo momma, she so fat, she needs to buy extra-large clothes.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Alzheimer's Alzheimer's who? Knock Knock...

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HAHAH MY WORD IS HAPPY CLAPPY

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A lion, a leopard, a sheep, and a flesh eating New Zealand parrot stalk, trot and fly, respectively, into a bar. The parrot lands on the the sheep's back and begins to tear into its flesh in order to reach the succulent deposits of fatty tissue located around the sheep's kidneys. "Ouch!" Said the sheep. "Why would you do that? Oh, the pain! The pain!" "Squak!", Replied the NZ parrot, wiping blood of its sharp, hooked beak on the counter. "I think," Began the lion, "This parrot from New Zealand is hungry for fat from a sheep's soft, woolly back." The sheep's wool was now damp with blood. "Perhaps this parrot from New Zealand wants sheep fat from its soft woolly back." "Ah!" Said the sheep. "This parrot from New Zealand wants sheep fat from my soft woolly back!" "Yes", Replied the lion. "You could also say..." Started the sheep, "That an NZ parro-" The sheep did not finish his sentence. He died from his wounds. The lion left. The parrot flew off to tear up some windshield wipers. And the leopard stashed the sheep carcass in a tree branch for later consumption.

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Why do midgets laugh when they run? Because the grass tickles there balls

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Knock Knock. You don't have a door.

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Why couldn't the kitten drink its milk? Because its owner was neglecting him and the kitten later died of malnurisment

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Did you hear the one about the koala bear that fell out of the tree? Yeah it died.

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Do you know what the forest fire got for Christmas? Your house

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PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN cil you have such a dirty mind

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Two men and a woman go to lunch together at a restaurant in New York City. The first man says, "I'm glad that we're finally doing this." The second man says, "Yeah, me too." The woman concurs.

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A little boy walks into a bar its fine, he's over 21, he just looks younger.

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Why did Jimy fell down the stairs, because he was adopted.

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Yes

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Roses are red, Wait. Why start this poem when you cant finish it Refrigerator

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Why did the bear turn red? Because I fucking stabbed it!

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Why was the girl angry? She's PMSing. Give her a banana and stay away.

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What is a good remedy for the common cold? A piping hot bowl of chicken-noodle soup.

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a person who will soon die of beeties

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had gotten out of its coop.

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Knock. Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Are you mentally handicapped? Bananas are fruit.

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What did the cat say when it stepped in poo? Meow.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter what you call him he isn't coming anyway!!!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was suicidal.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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