Knock Knock F*ck of I'm watching p0rn

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Jack be nimble. Jack be quick. But Jack still couldn't out run that bullet.

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A man walks into a bar. Another man becomes the Limbo State Champion.

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Whats black and hangs from trees? To get to the other side.

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What did Hitler say to his wife? It's time to go start the Holocaust.

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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What's brown and seven feet tall? A door

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Why was the boy afraid? Because he had just seen his dog get ran over by a tractor

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Knock-Knock Who's there? Ketchup. Ketchup who? Ketchup-mustard.

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Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M factory? Because she was a very poor worker.

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In mother Russia you don't eat cookie. Dog eat shark. -B.Gill

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What did the vibrator say to the condom? Watch, I'll get laid before you do!!!

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You can lead a fool to wisdom, but you can't make him think.

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What do you call a 5000 pound gorilla? Obese - gorillas should weigh around 400 pounds.

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Have you seen Helen Keller's new car? Neither has Stevie Wonder.

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Q. What did the chicken do when it lost its egg? A. It went to go look for it. Q. Why was the chicken scared of the duck? A. Because it was chicken Q.Why can't chickens fly? A. Because they don't want to Q.Why can't chickens swim? A. Because they don't want to Q. Whey do chickens cluck? A. Because they want to Q. Why did the chicken jump on top of a car? A. Because it knows how Q. Why doesn't a chicken have hands? A. Because it's not human Q. What did the chicken dream about? A. Chicken dreams Q. Why was the chicken lost? A. Because it wasn't found Q. Why wasn't the chicken afriad of the dog? A. Because the chicken was blind Q. Why doesn't the chicken know how to drive a car A. Because they don't need to

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Math: "If I have 5 bottles in one hand and 4 in the other, what do I have?" Answer: "An unreasonable amount of bottles to hold in two hands."

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What's black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

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Why did Poppy lose at sports day? Because she had a heart attack and died.

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What is brown, creamy, and tastes like gravy? gravy.

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What's bigger than a horse ? An elephant.

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What did the man say to his wife while having sex? I don't know.

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Guys, I think I'm gonna apply to join the Crips. My SAT score is a 2050, and their average score is a 2200. My GPA, however, is a 4.6, and their average is only a 4.2. Do you guys think that they will take me? Or should I try and apply for the Bloods?

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Why did the nervous man jump out of a plane? He was sky diving.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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