What's sad about a girl getting hit in the face with a shovel? The shovel got dented..

Why did the elephant get on the roof? To jump in the pool.

Mother: "George what happenend to your pet rock?" George:"I dont know." Mother:"Here! I found your pet rock. It was in the same place it was before!"

There was a bunch of kids on a bus. One boy yelled "Look a squirrel!" Nobody saw it because he's dyslexic

What is the opposite of a joke ? Racism

So a priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. They order some wine and have an enjoyable evening.

Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

Two guys fight over a girl. The girl gets up from under them.

Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away? Because it could see and hear.

Why did the girls ice cream melt? She was on fire.

What do you call an alligator in a circus? Testicular Cancer.

What do you call cheese that isn't yours Stolen propety....

Do you know why the Mexican didn't like hot dogs? I don't know either.

Why did the prince kiss his beloved just before going into battle? Intermission.

Whats worse than losing your entire family in a car accident? Luikimia

What happened to Jillian when she walked out the door? She got hit by a bus A. Knock knock B. Whos there? A. Not Jillian

What did Batman tell Robin before he got into the Batmobile? "Hey Robin, get in the Batmobile."

When life throws you lemons, Throw grenades.

Does Geico really save you 15% or more on car insurance? No, it's a scam.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He realized he was in the ghetto

When Hitler was a girl she had hyjenical warts and when she got older she had beast cancer.

Why did the dinosaurs go extinct? I don't know.

Women's Rights

why was the tricycle lonely? the mom back over the kid in the driveway.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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