Why did the little girl fail her test? She had mental retardation.

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What did the rabbit say to the rabbi? ...RABBITS DO NOT TALK! So then the rabbi said, "In that case you must be a hare!"

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DON'T TOUCH MY DUCK, IT HAS A ONE DOLLAR BILL

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An Irishman, a Jew, an Asian, and a Priest all walk into a bar This is an example of a well-balanced community

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What kind of parrot can't mimic human voices? One that's just had it's vocal chords illegally harvested and sold on the black market

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Q:Whats big, red and eats rocks? A: A big red rock eater

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How many lesbians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One, but she had a very muscular vagina.

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Why did the young boy cross the road? because his dad beats him due to alcoholism and his mother is a crack whore.

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I hear eating an apple a day keeps the other apples in check.

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Why did the house burn down? Because I set it on fire.

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A guy walked up to me and said "I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam." I promptly informed the authorities. He was transported to a mental institution and I later learned that he swallowed his own tongue and died. Nobody attended his funeral.

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Why'd the blonde jump out the window? To kill herself

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A man walks into a bar. On the way home, he is driving, careers off the road and crashes. Lesson here. Don't walk into poles

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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What's worse than Jedward? Nothing. They are really and truly awful.

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Why did the boy throw butter out the window? To test the principles of gravity.

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What'd the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? New shoes and some gloves

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them.

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whats worse than a worm in your apple..? getting shot..

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A Man walks into a bar and asks for a shot. The Bartender proceeds to unload a 30 round banana clip into his head, neck, and midsection.

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What is the opposite of a joke ? Racism

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i homeless man asked for ome change. he didnt get any because people were afraid he would spend it on drugs

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Why does my friend pick up garbage? Because he is a garbageman.

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Scenario- A wedding while skydiving. Problem- The groom lost his parachute. Question- Who stole it? Hint- The Maid of Honor didn't have one either, but he had one on his body when he hit the ground. Answer- The mailman, but he died of old age.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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