Why did the Egyptian woman not manage to work the washing machine? The instructions were in English.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Bob, your neighbor. Okay, come in.

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What did Stephen Hawking say to his daughter? Nothing, his illness prevents him from talking. And letting a high-tech wheelchair make human sounds isn't talking!!!

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A man walks into his cubicle and sits down. After a long day of work, he goes home and happens to die whilst eating dinner.

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Why couldn't the married couple have sex? They were lesbians who were saving up a sex change.

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Knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? I can't remember. I have amnesia from when I was hit by a bus as a child.

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1. Look at the size of his putter. 2. Oh, dang, my shaft's all bent. 3. You really wacked the hell out of that sucker. 4. After 18 holes I can barely walk. 5. My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip. 6. Lift your head and spread your legs. 7. You have a nice stroke, but your follow through leaves a lot to be desired. 8. Just turn your back and drop it. 9. Hold up. I've got to wash my balls. 10. Damn, I missed the hole again.

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Q: How many dead babies does it take to fill a mixing bowl? A: There is an infinite amount of answers to this question depending on the sizes and shapes or the dead babies, so lets assume that an average would probably be about 4 babies that dies just as the left the mother.

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Why did the Mexican cross the border? He wanted to live a better life in pursuit of freedom and a better job.

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What did peter griffin say to the black guy? Oh you are black.

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Did you hear about that creepy guy on Facebook? He was un-friended

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Why was the black man running? Because he was playing capture the flag.

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What's yellow and smells like cheese? Cheese.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, but I'm late for work.

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Q:What did the duck say to the other duck A:We are both ducks

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How do unwed mothers celebrate Mother's Day? The same way all mothers do.

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You have small feet Do you know what small feet mean Small shoes

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Knock, Knock, Who's there? The IRS.

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Why are orphans so bad at baseball? They don't know where home is.

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What's 1+1? 69.

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q: what do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex? a: sex, just like everyome else calls it

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Why does Larry the Cable Guy get his own T.V. show??? Why can't I have one of my own??? .......ah...forgot....I'm a minority...

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A girl asks a Croatian bartender for a beer, the bartender replies, 'There is no beer in this bar.'

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why did the black man fall down the stairs? he was blind, do to loss of vision from cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops