What do you call a kid with one leg and an eye patch? Names

How many Norwegians does it take to change a light bulb? Only one. But all the replacements are high-tolerance, long-life and non-dimmable.

How did Jesus walk on water? Jesus is God in the form of a man, and he is the only human being ever with the ability to perform miracles

A guy walked into a restaurant. He sat down and had a lovely meal left the restaurant got in his car and went home. The End

Yo mamma is so fat that she can fit through a skinny doorway. Actually, yo mamma isn't fat at all, but rather a normal sized woman secure in her weight.

you know whats funny?! nine eleven!

Q: what happens when Justin Bieber walks into bar? A: three things, blood on the bar floor, another vister at the celebrity hospital, and Justin Bieber with knifes and darts stuck in his chest!

why did the magician stop doing magic ? he got hit by a bus and died

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

what is the best invention ever created ? ............ PORN !!!!

what did the robot say to the centipede? "Stop being a centipede!" It's funny because the robot doesn't have any arms.

What do you do when a burglar breaks into your house and tries to kill and rape you and you family? Nothing, he as an AK-47 and shoots you all dead and then has sex with your corpses.

What do you do when you see a half-dead black man on the floor? Call an ambulance before he bleeds out causing sepsis.

Why did the penis cross the road? Because a man was humping the chicken

Why did the chicken cross the road? AIDs.

Q: What do you call a person with no arms and no legs ??? A: Stumpy

What does and elephant and me have in common. Everything, I am an elephant.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Some wild chickens have regular seasonal migration patterns that might require them to cross a road while traveling south. Wild chicken movements include those made in response to changes in food availability, habitat or weather.

Q. Why hasn't LeBron won a ring? A. Throughout his career, he has been placed with incapable teammates, thus leading to unsuccessful results. However, recently, he has been placed with individuals valid pod achieving such a goal.

josh roberts makes nuns hang themselves

I was taking a major shiit in the bathroom stalls at the college and someone walked in on me, talk about awkward

What's the difference between unicorns and black people? Years of slavery.

Q: What is the fastest way to get insulted? A: Go screw yourself m0therf0cker!

Justin Bieber's voice sounds like Michael J. Fox playing a theramin.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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