What's more boring than watching grass grow? Watching grass not grow.

What did the tramp get for Christmas? Nothing because he's Jewish.

What did Rachel (the columbine girl) get for her birthday?? Nothing she's dead.

Why is the boy sad? He was getting bullied so he later on talked to a teacher and the bully and him settled their differences. The bullied boy still wishes the bully to go to hell.

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. They order a few drinks, chat, and walk out.

What do you call a man with no legs? A leg-less man.

You have small feet Do you know what small feet mean Small shoes

what is funnier than a apple? a talking apple

How do you stop a black man from running? You shoot his knee caps.

One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

3 men of different races walk into a bar. The bartender then proceeds to ask, "what would you 3 men like?"

Q: what's worse then stubing yout toe? A: getting raped by godzilla

wanna hear a sad joke? you! by mad james

Why did Sally fall off the swings? She has no arms. Knock knock Whose there? Not Sally, she has no arms

How do you take a picture of a man with a wooden leg? You can't take pictures with wooden legs.

how do u wake kesha up? Answer:set her alarm clock to a reasonable time

Peas

My dad weights 350 lbs. He decided to switch to diet soda.

Why was the man upset? Both sides of his pillow were warm.

'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

Once upon a time there was a young teenager who was bullied a lot. She died 100 years ago.

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You set the alarm for a reasonable time. - Louis

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It had a heart attack. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey

How to shrink China's population in a few minutes? Nuke them all, simple.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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