Why did the kids all eat their homework? Probably because they were starving to death and there was no other food source available.

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why is justin bieber so pale? Because he hasn't come out of the closet.

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Q: how do you get an clown off a unicycle A:You hit it with a police baton

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Whats sadder than 20 dead babies nailed to a tree? The Parents...

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Four men are stranded on a small desert island. The first of them decides to build a raft out of bamboo, but it only has room for one passenger. "Don't worry, I will get help when I reach civilization!" he shouted to the men on shore as he left, but a band of pirates killed him in the middle of the ocean. The second castaway was more clever, and built a submarine out of bamboo and sealed it with hides of animals they had killed. He counteracts the buoyant force with sand. In this way, he planned to avoid the pirates by being underwater. "Don't worry, I will get help when I reach civilization!" he exclaimed as he sealed the one person sized chamber of his submarine, but not far off shore, he runs out of oxygen and suffocates to death. The third castaway learned from the mistakes of the first two, and in spite of the unpredictability of handcrafted aerial vehicles, he makes a glider. "Don't worry, I will get help when I reach civilization!" he shouts from the hill top of the island as he leaps off and glides over the horizon. Though the journey is fraught with peril, he makes it back to civilization and is reunited with his family. It is expensive, but he prepares an expedition back to the island where his fourth comrade remains. It is worthy to note that on this small island, all the means of making shelter had been used up in the construction of the raft, submarine, and glider. The fourth castaway was found dead from exposure to the elements.

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A guy walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender says, "whered you get the pig?" The guy says, "It's not a pig its a parrot." The bartender says, "i was talking to the parrot."

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Why did the 80 year old man lose his vision? Because he recently blew his head off.

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A black guy, a Jew and a Mexican walked into a bar...so I didn't....not because of their race but because I had already spent all of my money at the gay bar.

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Why can cats jump so high? Cats leg muscles are different then ours. They work kind of like springs that build up energy and then release suddenly. Its kind of like a budgie cord. This gives them the ability to jump so high. If humans were built the same way, they could easily jump up on a one-story roof.

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why did my BFF hate me?i called her an idiot on all the holidays including her birthday

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What do you call a mexican man with a rubber toe? Ruberto.

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"What the hell is wrong with you?" "..."

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Q: What did Bobby get for his first birthday ? A: Adoption papers

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Why did the bus crash? The driver was a loaf of bread.

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Why did I get thumbs up from everyone? Answer: Because they like my anti-joke.

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roses are read, violets are blue. i have alzheimers and Jill came tumbling down.

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A dog was dying on the side of the road. I drove 50 meters ahead and saw it again. I was on shrooms.

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roses are red violets are red i smell my wife nows shes dead

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A frog walks up to Steve, and says "Hey, Steve." Steve is terrified because a frog knows his name, and is walking.

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how do u drown a blond you put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool.

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Two whales are in a bar. One says, "whoaohaoahwoahwahoh" The other says, "Go home, Frank. You're drunk."

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lets work together to make all racists jokes in negitives

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Why Americans are so bad at League of Legends? Because they can't defend their towers.

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Ok so a black guy is packing his bags for college and then......... wait a minute?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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