A shoemaker walks into a bar holding a shoebox with only one shoe inside. The bartender gives him a drink and asks "Say mister, why are you carrying that shoebox with one shoe?" The shoemaker says "Well sir, it's a long story." The bartender says "Okay, give me the short version." The shoemaker says "Okay, long story short, I'm not really a shoemaker." The bartender asks "Well buddy, what are ya?" The shoemaker gets up from his chair and says "I'm a guy missing shoe."

thumb_up thumb_down +12

2 men walk into a bar, the 3rd man ducks and ask them if they're ok

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the hand say to the face? Nothing because body parts cannot speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why is Stevie Wonder always so happy? Probably becuase he's a highly succesfull multi-million dollor recording artist with 26 grammys and 1 oscar

thumb_up thumb_down +12

how do you save a car from falling out of an airplane? I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call a dog? A cat. What do you call a cat? A banana.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb Wanna go ride bikes?

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Andoni was here

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why is Blake dumb? He was in algebra one as a freshman. And his nickname is angry Blake

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's worse than breaking a leg? Breaking two legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Knock, knock! Who's there? No one. No one actually knocked on your door because this is just a joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did Bob say at Fred's house? "I know where Fred lives."

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's worst than finding a worm in your apple Finding half a worm in your apple .....

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Two drunk drivers got in a car crash They both died

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's worst than being stung by a bee? being stung by two bees. what's worst than that? The Holocaust. What's worst than that? being stung by three bees.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A paralyzed person walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a black person who puts out fires? a firefighter

thumb_up thumb_down +10

One day, Jimmy didn't wake up.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

When life hands me beef, I make lemon stew.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

knock knock whoses there whose home whoses home who? you

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Your Mom is so fat.... When she's goes to McDonald's and orders 3 Big Macs the people standing in line behind her all look at her with disgust and a tinge of pity.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the cow say to the Businessman? Nothing. Cows cant talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

josh- your a strange boy. liam- yes. due to by up bringing i have been exposed to unusual situations that most people do not encounter therefore affecting how i behave. Secondly the definition of normal is varying from person to person making being normal to every human being difficult to even the most capable of people. Essentialy Josh i care little for you comment. *josh was a black man who died of cancer 6 weeks after this incodent*

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops