Why did the girl drop out of school? She was being sexually assaulted by her mothers alcoholic boyfriend and was having trouble coping.

Two muffins were in an oven. The first muffin says: 'It sure is hot in here!' The second muffin says: 'Why are they only cooking two muffins?'

Q: how do you get an clown off a unicycle A:You hit it with a police baton

What succeeds most of the time? The population of a field with grass.

What did the platypus do whenever he walked into the bar? Nothing. It's a platypus, they don't do much.

Why did the little girl pull her hair out? She didn't, It's a side-effect of the chemotherapy.

-Your mom worked as a prostitute and died a virgin.

how do u stop a cat from peeing on the floor? Kill it... haha

Roses are red, violets are blue When I cut you, you bleed

I'm a wise old man, so I'm aloud to touch you in the bathing suit area.

Why did Sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by a truck. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally. Why did Sally fall of the swings? She had no arms. Why didn't Jimmy help her up? Jimmy is a fish. There's a guy with no arms and no legs who loves to swim. What's his name? Bob. Ya know Bob's twin brother is in the same condition. He loves to play in the leaves. And what's his name? Russell. Why couldn't Sally swing on the swing? She had no arms. What did the girls mom tell her to do before she went to bed? Go to bed. How do you wake up Will Ferrell? You set his alarm clock to a reasonable hour. What did the fat man who had his car stolen tell the police? Someone stole my car.

why did the black man start crying? because his ancestors were treated horribly

Question to make it sound like a racist joke? Politically correct answer that should not offend anyone.

Whats worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? Three bee stings. Whats worse than three bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse then the holocaust? Four bee stings.

Once there was an egg by the name of Steve. His name was Steve the Egg.

What happens when you put four drunk clowns and eight sober clowns inside of a clown car? Nothing, because the clowns realized that it's dangerous to operate a vehicle while under the influence of alcohol and decides to call a taxi instead.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Duck, Duck who? Duck Sandwich

What did the rabbi say to the Muslim? I don't know I wasnt there. But it probably had something to do with their varying religions.

Q. What you call a Guy with no arms an no legs in the water? A. Bob

You know what's sad and Funny? When a guy walks into a gay bar and doesn't get hit on.

What's the best way to piss off a feminist? R@pe her.

If you are reading this you are a nerd

Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? There was no cross walk.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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