What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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What scares little children and befriends their parents? A clown

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Optimist: The glass is half full. Pessimist: The glass is half empty. Realist: Find something better to do than talk about a glass.

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What's special about an Irish Parachute ? It's made in Ireland.

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What did Batman say to When they were heading to the Batmobile Robin get in the batmobile.

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Why was the Mexican man in the rich man's garden? Because he enjoys flowers.

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Why was the little boy sad? -Because he was on Fire.

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Why was the blonde confused? Because someone was dressed in a chicken costume throwing pinecones at her.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.

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why is 6 afraid of 7 because 7 is slenderman and he is chasing 6

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Why did the girl commit suicide? She got raped

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Why is our country going downhill? Because going uphill is harder.

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steven hawking walks into a bar

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Why does Larry the Cable Guy get his own T.V. show??? Why can't I have one of my own??? .......ah...forgot....I'm a minority...

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Knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? I can't remember. I have amnesia from when I was hit by a bus as a child.

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A girl asks a Croatian bartender for a beer, the bartender replies, 'There is no beer in this bar.'

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Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: Immobile.

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XD, You must really like me Nero, do you think people have problems telling us apart here?

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how many black people does it take to complete the simplest task such as washing their own hair? A shitload! thats why slavery was so populer back in the day. (and gays were big then to because they had to shower together to remember to wash their hair.)

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How do unwed mothers celebrate Mother's Day? The same way all mothers do.

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So there was this kid who was sitting on a stool, and the stool started moving. He then realized that stools do not move, so he got up and ran away as quickly as he could.

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Guy 1: (to guy 2) Close your eyes, stand on one leg, spin around, and yell "I have never eaten a cucumber!". Guy 2: No. Guy 1: Ok.

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What do you call a black guy who wins a race? A winner

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What's worse then getting followed by a creepy man in a van? Getting followed and raped by a creepy man in a van.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops