A guy walks into a bar. The second guy ducks.

hows your wife she died 7 years ago really mine too

Why did the cop stop a black guy with a Rolls-Royce? Because he was speeding while on his phone and going through red traffic lights.

How do you stop a baby falling down a well? Throw a javelin through its forehead.

What do u get when u lick chicken Answer- Your a retard if you did not figure it out it is obviously chicken taste DERP!

What's black and blue and made of poo? A drowning black guy, holding some blue poop

How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

Your mom is so fat that her Body Mass Index is 30,?which is considered obese, she should really try to lose some weight.

Knock knock. Who's there? Ryan. Ryan who? Ryan Seacrest.

The patient says, "Give me the bad news first!" Doctor replies, "You've got AIDS." "Oh, no! What could be worse than that?" asks the patient. "You've also got Alzheimer's Disease." Looking relieved the patient says, 'at least it shall be over quickly.'

whats flat and useless? the walls of an abandoned house where land prices are increasing and properties are in high demand

What's worse than having a gay friend? 9/11.

My cake is yummy, It's icing is blue. It will always be mine, Come close and I'll punch you. So stay away from it And you will be safe, But if you dont listen, Prepare ice for your face!

Why did the white policeman shoot all the black people in a house and not the white people Because the black guys were holding the white guys hostage

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Put down your barbie. Get in the car.

How did 3 fat women fit under 1 small umbrella and not get wet? It wasn't raining!

What has eyes but can't see? Helen Keller. What has ears but can't hear? A field of corn.

A priest a rapist and a child molester walk into a bar. He orders a drink

Why don’t stores sell mouse-flavored cat food? It’s a matter of marketing; tuna, chicken and liver flavors sound much more palatable to the humans buying the pet food.

Have you heats about the Guy who's parents died in à car crash... No He killen himself because of hus parents Deathstars

A plane crashed in the rainforest. The survivors all buried themselves because no survival equipment was left and they all sought to kill themselves in their deep state of shock and fear.

Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? No? Well he graduated in four years with a degree in chemical engineering. He worked hard all four years in order to keep his scholarship to the university. Now he leads a very successful life and lives in a large house with his wife and two children.

josh moran where your Bluetooth gone?

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says why the long face? The horse says my mom died from cancer

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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