Bill: My vagina is itchy. Tom: You don't have a vagina. It was later found out that bill had a sex change and did have an itchy vagina, due to an STI. He later died of cancer.

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Two trains, each having a speed of 30km/h, are headed at each other on the same straight track. A bird that can fly 60km/h flies off the front of one train when they are 60km apart and heads directly for the other train. After reaching the other train, the bird flies directly back to the first train, and so forth. What is the total distance the bird travels before the train collide? Who cares about the bird if two trains are going to collide? You need to call this in immediately.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A watch and a pair of socks.

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despite popular opinion to the contrary you shouldn't eat mercury.

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What did the hitler youth kid get for Christmas? An easy bake oven and a G.I. Jew.

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A blonde, a red head, and a brunette are on an island. Due to the law of averages, this isn't that unlikely or significant.

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Q: What present did the Taliban's wife get on the islamic holiday A: a beating

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How many electricians with a suitable ladder does it take to change a bulb? If the bulb fitting is now obsolete it may not be possible.

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What does the kid with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A: arms and legs

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I'm a vegan thats why I am still a Virgin.

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you can either take the test now or on monday. (hand movement)

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Mine.

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Knock Knock! ... Whos there? ... Daisy ... Daisy who? ... Daisy me trolling... ;)

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what do you call a fish with no gills? Dead

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Why was the minority sad? Because the police beat him and then he was raped in jail.

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it ain't easy being cheesy Max Harrison

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good looking women

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why did the 42 inch plasma screen blow-up 6 hours before the england match ? because it knows .

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Why did the kid drop his ice cream? Because he was laughing so hard at the man who farted and burped at the same time.

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Whats the difference between a jew and a canoe? Canoes weren't killed by Hitler

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your mom is so ugly that she is still a virgin, you don't exist you are just a figment of my imagination.

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How do you get a baby to be quiet? Put it in the oven for a few minutes

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Why did helen keller's dog run away? He lost track of his destination and got lost.

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How dis the chicken cross the road? On it's chicken wings.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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