- Anti Joke

I'm a vegan thats why I am still a Virgin.

A blonde, a red head, and a brunette are on an island. Due to the law of averages, this isn't that unlikely or significant.

How many electricians with a suitable ladder does it take to change a bulb? If the bulb fitting is now obsolete it may not be possible.

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I remember the last words my grandpa said before he kicked the bucket. I bet I can kick this bucket. He missed and had a heart attack.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Now that we got our colors straight. Hey, how ya doin?

Finn: Jake, why can your body do all of those magical things? Jake: What do you mean? Finn: Oh never mind. And they both proceeded to enjoy a delicious breakfast.

Why did William commit suicide? Because his grandmother had recently died of terminal cancer. His mother left him on the front step when he was two, and moved to Tennessee with her baby daddy.

I've got a fever, and the only prescription is more ibuprofen...

What did the no-arm, no-leg, paraplegic orphan with cancer get for christmas? Pregnant.

How do you get a baby to be quiet? Put it in the oven for a few minutes

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he had heard this joke so many times that it drove him so mad that he grabbed an ice cream, stepped into the road, and was hit by a bus, purposely adding an ironic effect to his death.

A bus with 12 black guys is driven off a cliff. What is the sad part of this story? ... Our beloved president was not involved.

How dis the chicken cross the road? On it's chicken wings.

Why did the cave men discover fire? They were the only humans on earth.

Why did helen keller's dog run away? He lost track of his destination and got lost.

Why couldn't Jimmy have his birthday party at the park? Because little Jimmy passed away several months ago from the result of a vicious genocide committed by a man who didn't properly understand the affect that maiming human beings has on the friends and family members of the person; he was sentenced to jail for a fair and reasonable time for the punishment of the crime he committed in the past.

What was the last thing that went through the crashing helicopter pilot's head? The propeller.

I have magical powers. Try your best to not to follow these instructions: Ready? Go. You are now blinking your eyes. (strike 1) You are now breathing voluntary. (strike 2) You suddenly have an itch somewhere on your body. (strike 3) You lost. Thanks for playing my little game. Hope you enjoy thinking of a flying pink elephant with wings.

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your mom is so ugly that she is still a virgin, you don't exist you are just a figment of my imagination.

Why did the kid drop his ice cream? Because he was laughing so hard at the man who farted and burped at the same time.

why did the 42 inch plasma screen blow-up 6 hours before the england match ? because it knows .

it ain't easy being cheesy Max Harrison

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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