How do you make a hobo cry? You steal his trash.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was Tuesday!

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? ruh-ruh-blah-blah-bluh

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Q. What happened to the dog when he was kick in the privates? A. Nothing he was neutered a year ago.

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Why did the monk shave his head? So he's more aerodynamic.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Some chocolate and a new DVD.

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A teenage girl walks into a bar. She sits down and watches the TV up against the wall. The bartender walks by and says "Hello, do you have I.D." The girl says "No, I'm just here waiting for my ride." The bartender then says "Well I'm sorry to have to tell you this but you gotta be 21 or over to sit in the bar." The girl says "Okay, but is there anywhere I can wait that is safe?" The bartender asks "Why?" and the girl replies "Well, I've been hiding from my ex boyfriend. I just broke up with him an hour ago. He was very controlling and he is still not over me. So now I'm here waiting for my new boyfriend." The bartender says "What you have a new boyfriend already? Maybe that's why your ex was angry." The girl says "yeah, I know, oh look there's my ride. It was nice talking with you, have a good night."

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Why do sharks swim in salt water? Pepper water makes them sneeze! Why do whales swim in salt water? They can't survive in fresh water.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Not only did 7 have that intimidating look to him, but 6 had recently found out that he was a well known mob boss who also went by the name of Lucky Seven. he was in charge of a gang called The Prime Numbers. They had been terrorizing 6's city for sometime now, whether it was stealing, mugging, or even killing or vandalism. 6 sure had a lot to fear, but he knew things might turn out well, as 6 had a great ability to try his best and do what he believed in: Justice

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For 10 cents a day you can feed an African...they eat pennies.

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My cat just died.

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Why did the midget cross the road? He needed to buy a ladder

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? I don't know what they said, but one muffin, had a knife.

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Red are roses Blue are violets Dyslexic am I.

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What happened to Kanye West when he interrupted a KKK ritual meeting? He was promptly hung from a tree for being a negro.

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What do you call a mexican man with a rubber toe? Ruberto.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side!

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What do you call a black man with big cuts on his arms? You call an ambulance to help him!

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Is there anything better than pussy? Ya a really nice book

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Why did Susie fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Not Susie.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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What is funny about civil and women's rights? Nothing, they are very serious matters.

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So, why won't the blonde date the Asian guy? Because she's afraid of commitment.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She got shot in the head by her drunk step-dad.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops