Why do undertakers wear ties? Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their appearance has a degree of gravitas.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Dog. Dog who? I have a dog.

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A:Wanna hear a joke? B: Sure A: A joke

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like this or you will die at some point in your life

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Teacher:What is the outer layer of a tree? Dog:Bark. Teacher: What is the square root of 69? Dog:8.30662386

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a jew, a muslim and a christian all walk into a bar; because of the difference in religion im afraid such an event is unlikely to occur in the future.

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What looks like a penis, smells like a penis and eats penis Nothin ive ever seen

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun. Get in the van

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Why did the chicken cross the road? 'Cause you touch yourself at night;

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Mum did you make my milkshake? No, I didn't son, but your father did. Fther's dead. I know.

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How do you beat Princess Diana in a car race? Challenge Princess Diana to a car race.

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So, im new at this site and i was wondering how do you make an anti joke?

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Why did the penis cross the road? Because a man was humping the chicken

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Why was the black man crying? Becasue his wife and children were killed in a horrific car accident on their way home from church.

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What did the man say when he saw a alien? "Look its a Alien"

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Q:Whats the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? A:One less drunk

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What do you call a place where all hopes and dreams go to die as this place is contained of depression and the lingering smell of death? www.anti-joke.com

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What happened to the man who had the most loving parents and family when he was born, had an amazing childhood which he shared with so many good friends, was loved everywhere, helped the poor, started a fundraiser for starving kids in africa, got a college education, helped a complete stranger get off his drug addiction, married a beautiful woman, bought a nice house and had 3 children who he loved dearly and spent time with as much as he possibly could, tucked them in every night and enjoyed every second of his life as if it was his last? He died.

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Yeah, "master hypnotists" (and do not even get me started on hypnotherapists, they completely suck!) keep claiming that you need to keep up to date with the "constantly developing art of hypnosis" The thing is though, that hypnosis does not develop itself, people develop it further, and when the key ingredient is actually believing things under a certain state, you can do anything, even slow the passage of time to a halt. Once I tried that, I was disappointed when I figured out that it did not work, so I went shopping (for groceries), then realized that no time had passed at all, sounds like bullshit, and yeah I wont be trying that again anytime soon, lucid dreaming is good enough, you can spend hours and hours in a lucid dream state, days, and then wake up and figure out you slept like two hours or something.

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Whats alive and drowning? your new born baby you just threw in the river

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What did the man say to his doctor?

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Why didn't Suzie answer her mother? Suzie has a serious condition where she is mute and also severely deaf.

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Why did god create planet earth? He isn't real.

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What do you call dinosaur flatulence? Jurassic Fart!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops