What's green, little, and eats rocks? A Little Green Rock-Eater What's green and has a thousand wheels? A lawn, I lied about the wheels! If I were to throw a rock down the a whole in the center of the earth (straight through) what would happen? The Little Green Rock-Eater would eat it!

A man walks into a bar with a giant banana as a head and the bartender asks why he has a giant banana as a head and the man says get me a drink and i will explain, the bartender got the man a drink and he started to explain why, so i found this real nice golden lamp and i rubbed it next thing you know this genie pops out and he said i get three wishes the first one he wishes for unlimited wealth with a snap of the genies fingers the wish came true next he wished to be the most handsome man ever with a spin and a snap the wish came true but this is where it went wrong, I said to the genie and i cant believe he got me with this one (because genies always put a twist on things) i said: i wish for my head to be a banana

what's worse then death? finding that your adopted, no one loves you and you mother raped you at the tender age of five.

How do you make a dentist cry? Kill all his family.

What's worst than biting into an apple and finding a worm? The holoca- *the man hearing the joke then pulls out a desert eagle and shoots the man in the chest before finishing the joke then goes to jail for the rest of his life*

Two guys walk into a bar.The barmen says "sorry we are closed." So the two men reply "There isn't a closed sign on the door and the door was open so we assumed it was OK to come in and have a drink". The barman says "Sorry we are closed at the moment but come back in 20 minutes and I can serve you". So the men leave and come back for a drink in 25 minutes time.

Where did the cow go? To the slaughter house!!!

What did the blind man say to the mentally challenged man when he bumped into him? Watch where you're going, retard.

Why did the Mexican cross the border? He wanted to live a better life in pursuit of freedom and a better job.

What would kill a Muslim if they were to ingest it? Arsenic

Why did the little boy rush downstairs to the living room on Christmas morning? because he heard his mother screaming rape.

Q: What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferari? A: I don't have a ferari in my garage.

What did the black girl say when sho dropped her phone? Oh crap, I dropped my phone.

One man asked another man what his favorite sport was. The man replied: " My favorite sport is golf." "Golf requires no physical strength, therefore I do not count it as a sport." Said the man who asked the question.

Roses are green. Violets are purple. Charlie Sheen. Looks a turtle.

what did the woman say when the guy told her he liked her christmas tree? thank you.

What's red,little and its in the corner??? --- Strawberry in the corner

A man walks into a bar. He is then taken to the hospital for his concussion, seeing as the bar was made of metal

Whats brown, sweet, and bad for your teeth? A brick.

What's funnier than the pope in a speedo? Humor is subjective, so answers vary from person to person.

Hey what did you do on The weekend??? I got hit by a bus!

Huh, I never succeeded in any of those, and I tried a lot. Please tell me you never gone with something nasty like that...

I am a mime

What's the worst part about being a black Jew? You have to sit at the back of the oven.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...