Every week or so Chuck Norris does his laundry.

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Why can't penguins fly? Because their wings are adapted to swim and not to fly

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You're so ugly, when yo' mama dropped you off at school, she kissed your forehead and called you beautiful.

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Wenn Sie dies zu übersetzen, dann ist dein ein Esel

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I'd like to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather did. Not screaming in terror like the rest of te people in his car.

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A blond, a brunette, and a redhead all entered their designated classrooms to begin AP testing. They all worked extraordinarily hard to earn a passing grade and receive college credit. The brunette and the redhead received passing, yet average, grades. The blond also received a score that reflected the amount of effort she put into studying and memorizing the material, because there is no correlation between hair color and intelligence.

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Why did Hitler shoot himself? Because he found out Chuck Norris was a Jew.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 brutally raped and murdered 8,9,10, and 11 along with their families.

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Don't chop the dinosaur daddy! OK.

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How does a chubby baby eat his chili In a very chubby way with his hands smearing it all over is face

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Why did the shark attack the rock? Because it thought it was a human.

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What's funnier than British people ? Their tea in the Harbor

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Sarah!

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What is funnier then a dead baby? A dead baby dressed as a clown!

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Knock Knock Who's there? Cindy Cindy who? No it's Cindy Lou Who!

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This is not funny.

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Katy perry isn't on clould nine because it's physicaly impossible to stand on water persipitation.

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Horse walks into a bar. Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from. So, you should probably leave.

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Shes got a big booty so I call her by her first name, women deserve respect.

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What did Helen Keller say to her mother? Nothing coherent.

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What did one chick in a clothes shop say to another? That's cheap

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his forehead.

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How do you stop a cat from urinating on your floor? Shoot it.

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whats worse than ur granny dying? uhhh...actually theres nothing is worse

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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