How do you knock a cat out of a tree? If that doesn't work, use a lethal BB gun

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Knock Knock Who's There No-one your not very popular

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do you know cadbury choclate buttons? yeah, you know the white ones come out now, do you why? so the black kids can get there face dirty too

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What's the difference between a brick and a baby? One is a fundamental item used in building walls and the other is a human

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Have you heats about the Guy who's parents died in à car crash... No He killen himself because of hus parents Deathstars

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A blind man walks into a bar. He had a few drinks then went home.

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i am a slasher, a slasher of prices to get to the other side. poop goo goo gaga

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Why did the girls hair catch on fire her neighbor bullied her

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What did the doctor say to the other doctor? Nothing. I killed them both with a fire axe and proceeded to kill all the patients in the hospital.

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What's even better than finding 10 bucks in your pocket? Getting into heaven.

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What do you call a cat with a pop tart for a body and rainbows flying out of its butt? Nyan Cat

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Man one: Why does the moon look like a face? Man two: I don't know, why? Man one: I don't know either, that's why i asked....

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What has four legs one head but only one foot? A dog that was born with physical deformities.

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All of these jokes suck; so I just made one that equally sucks!

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stinky boner

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Whats alive and drowning? your new born baby you just threw in the river

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There is a young boy called Clive, and his dad asks him what he wants for his birthday: "I would like one yellow golf ball please dad" he said. Of course, his father was quite surprised by his son's request, but nevertheless, he got him a yellow golf ball for his birthday. A few years later, clive does amazingly well at school and gets all As in his final exams. Filled with pride and love for his son, his father says to him: "I can't begin to tell you how proud i am of you, Clive. In fact, you can have a preasant! What do you want?" Clive thinks for a moment. "i would like one hundred yellow golf balls please!" His father was a bit annoyed at his strange request, but neverrtheless, gave Clive his yellow golf balls. A few years later, Clive wins the gold medal at the olymics for the 100m sprint. His father is very proud: "Son, i am so happy about the way you've turned out. You make me so proud. Is there anything you want me to do for you?" "can i have 1000 yellow golf balls please" Now his father got annoyed, he thought Clive was taking the piss. Eventually though, he calmed down and got clove the golf balls. Unfortunatley, Clive gets diagnosed with a deadly disease. His father is heartbroken. And as clive is lying on the hospital bed, his father moves close and speaks to him. "Son" he said, tears welling up in his eyes, "I just want to ask you one thing." "Ok," Clive said, as he too started to get emotional. "Why on earth did you want all those golf balls?" Clive looked deep into his father's eyes, as he took his last breath said: "I wanted them because- ack -splutter- ack" And he died.

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Roses r red, Violets r blue, u think id eva cry ova u?? I told u i luvd u, n u believed it true... Well guess wat baby? U got played 2 B)

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There was a irishmen in his house. He was thirsty. so he drank some water

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How did the man know he was gay? Australia is full of kangaroos

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Q: What did the bus driver say to the black man? A: Nothing, he simply greeted him with a nod, as he would do to any other person who chose to ride the bus.

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What is green and fuzzy and can kill you when it falls out of a tree A pooltable

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hello

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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