If you spell "ChuckNorris" in scrabble, you get 22 points.

What's green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree, it'll kill you? A pool table.

What did David's mom give him for his birthday? Nothing he hasn't seen her in eight years.

A man is sleeping and is woken up. What does he say? Why did you wake me up

how do you stop santa from laughing? snap his neck.

what did the unicorn say to the centaur? nothing because neither exist

what do you get when you cross a puma and a turkey? A horrible abomination of life that begs to be killed.

a blind man walks down the street and trips on an unsuspecting curb he scraped his knee

This is Axel, if you are who I think you are, you are late.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Vacuum, purple, zebra.

why did the boat crash? a tomato was driving

Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Skies are blue

A Priest and a Rabbi find a very young lost child. They both agree that their religions obligate them to find the child shelter.

I'm rubber and you're glue, neither one of us say anything because inanimate objects can't talk.

Whats worse than being out in the cold? Having cancer.

Q: what white hard and huge and it can kill you if you fall out of a tree? A: a refrigerator

What starts with a J, and burned in the oven? My Jumbalaya, i left it in for too long...

What do you call a two headed platypus? Go ask him, I'm sure he has a name.

Dear paranoid people who check behind their shower curtains for murderers, If you do find one, what`s your plan?

do you know what Noah didn't bring on his arc? unicorns

Why did the chicken cross the road? Ok

Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because he got shot in the face. Why couldn't the boy get back on the swing? He had no arms. Why didnt his mum come and save him? She is blind, deaf and in a wheelchair.

Have you ever had Ugandan food? Neither have they.

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She has no arms.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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