Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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What did the elf say to Santa I'm not making any more toys fat ass.

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What did the fish say when he swam into the wall? DAM!

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Why is there a black president? Cause you voted for him. Thanks! Dick.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She didn't, she's a woman.

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This is the funniest joke in the world: Just joking!

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fhfhfjjil;tyjgfkileg ryj ftrgndfhuiltyjgn

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He believed pedestrians had the right

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Why were there only 5,000 Mexicans at the Battle of Alamo? They only had 1250 trucks.

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Guess what? Chickenbuttt hahahah! lolomfg

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Are you from Africa because you sure look likes you've got Ebola

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Once opon a time there was a black America He name was Bob

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T-rex: If you're happy and you know it clap your hands, oh...

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What's the difference between celery and a truck?

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This is an anti-joke.

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Optimus Prime: "GIVE ME YOUR FACE!" Shockwave: "Illogical. I have no face." Optimus Prime: "Then GIVE ME YOUR EYE!" *RIPP*

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How do you describe a cranky rapist? Cranky and rapist

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What's the difference between a duck? One of its legs are the same.

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knock knock whos there? your dr you have cancer

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Who is the fastest kid in AA? Alex Solomos

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Why was 7 afraid of 8? Because 8 knifed 10.

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How do you find out a chinese's name? Ask him/her

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I was raped when i was little.

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I remember the last words my grandpa said before he kicked the bucket. I bet I can kick this bucket. He missed and had a heart attack.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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