How do you perform CPR on a black person. OK, first come down. I wish I could ask why you turned to Anit Jokes.com to ask this question, but this is serious. First, check for any air blockages using two fingers, then...

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How many squirrels does it take to change a lightbulb? 42.

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Q: Why is there never sun beaming at the castle? A: Because the castle is full of knights.

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What is red and invisible? No tomatoes.

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A blind man walks into a bar... He tragicly attracts aids and dies as the bar is shut down for health purposes

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YOUR MOMMA IS SO FAT WHEN SHE JUMPED FOR JOY........she didn't get stuck because there's nothing to get stuck in.

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A Jew walks into a bar. It's a bar full of Neo-Nazis.

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Why was the little boy sad? Because he was raped.

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1)Roses are red... 2)5 black men... 3)dead babies walk into a large crowded bar before dissolving into oblivion at the literary incongruency 4)of the whole situation.... 5)yes chicken got to the other side BEFORE me #)stupid chicken (aka duck rose man help....)

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Do you know why this joke isn't funny. It's punchline is bad.

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What do you call an African American woman with Tourettes? This question cannot be answered correctly. The African American woman was misdiagnosed. She is really a crack whore.

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Your mom is so retard that she needs "special help" from medical professionals. :3 <33

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Who will win in a fight Chuck Norris or Chuck Norris? I don't even know who he is -Lets go METS!!!!!!

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What is a waste of time and money? Your mother.

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What happened to the little boy that went to The Penn State locker room? He had a great day meeting the team and watching the football game.

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A blonde, a redhead and a brunette were on an island. There were loads of other people too - the UK is a pretty popular place to live.

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? Slavery.

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Whats funnier than a baby in a jar? A baby in ten jars.

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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A guy is at a party and he's really thirsty, so he goes to get a drink. He goes to get some soda, but the line is too long. He goes to get some water, but the line is also too long. He goes to get some punch, and it turns out there's no punch line.

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What is grey and transparent? An elephant in a zip-lock bag.

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A man walks into a bar. He orders a Guinness.

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Why is travis so funny? Trick question, He died of cancer 3 years ago.

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Where did Tommy go after the bomb went off? Everywhere

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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