America

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Relax, close down the place, he wont get very far. The rest of you better stay inside, and I promise you will all remain safe and secure.

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Why don't some black men have jobs? Because they won't work

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What's black, blue, and read all over? The newspaper.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn people on the other side that the sky was falling Why did the cow cross the road? Cause he had madcow disease Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass

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I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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A horse walked into a bar. The bartender said "why the long face?" The horse then panicked, and feeling threatened, it kicked the bartender with its hind legs and galloped out of the bar. A civilian took immediate control of the situation and dialed the number for animal control, who arrived shortly and tranquilized the deer and put it back in its natural habitat. Don't worry, that didn't actually happen

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What did the ice cream man ask the little boy? Want some ice cream?

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Why couldn'nt Sally swing on the swing? Because Sally was a carrot

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what's better than winning a gold metal at the special olympics? not being retarded.

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Q:How many cavemans does it take to screw in a lightbulb A: None there was no electricity back then

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Q: What did the Rabbi say to the butcher? A: "Do you have the time?"

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Q: What's worse than a truckload of dead babies? A: Shoveling them out with a pitchfork.

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Why can't Osama bin Laden make anymore terrorist attacks? He's dead.

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Two men enter a room. Two men and a baby leave the room...

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Why was the little boy sad? Because he just got paralized from the waist down and will never be able to walk again.

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why did the monkey fall? he got hit by a train

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Why is is afraid of seven? Because seven is a date rapist

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Knock knock Whos there your son your son who holy shit dad just let me in

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What goes up and down but never physically moves? My grade.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got ran over by a car.

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I'd like to advertise the love of Jesus in Kobane. Do u join me next Monday? :D

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a train? Because she's blind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops