Two men walk into a bar The first man says to the bartender: 'Can I have a glass of H2O?' The second man says: 'Can I have a glass of H2O too?' The Bartender gives them both glasses of water because he is not irresponsible to serve hydrogen peroxide in his bar.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, there could be several reasons. The sight of another chicken, its wondering imagination, but because chickens cannot speak, therefore, can never know the true answer.

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What is Kanye West's favorite type of sea-food? Lobster Bisque with a side of french fries.

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Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

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What did the man say after jumping into a well? He didn't say anything because he died instantly after jumping head first into a dry, 20 foot well. His family mourned for three days.

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A thief walks into a bank. He has an account there and withdraws 200 bucks.

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Whats the difference between a kangaroo and a kangeroot ? Ones a marsupial. The others a Geordie stuck in a lift.

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Why was the little boy hit by a bus? I pushed him

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What did the cheerleader get for christmas? Money, because she's a stupid w hore

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What is the difference between an Australian and an Ethiopian? One is from Australia the other is from Ethiopa

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Why did the jew ask for $10 back after he lent a boy $2? Because of inflation

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What did the little boy say to Micheal Jackson? Shouldn't you be dead?

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What did the black man say to the Jewish man Nothing, because they were walking on the street and did not know each other

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Knock knock Who's there? Barack obama

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A black man, Jew and a Mexican go camping. A bear wanders into their campsite, but upon seeing them runs away because it's afraid of humans.

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What's green and eats rocks? A green rock-eater.

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[Insert anti-joke here]

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Roses are gray, violets are blue; I'm red-green colorblind so I occasionally have difficulty seeing most shades of red or green.

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why did they plain crash? cause of gravity stupid

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What is striped black and white? A prisoner in jail arrested for the murder and rape of a 7 year old child.

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Knock knock. Who is there? My wife. My wife who? My wife is a prostitute, selling her own body for money so we can afford drugs for my son who has cancer.

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What do a bicycle and a platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pickles.

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People really hate it when sentenses don't end the way elephants wear hats

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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