What do black people and bananas have in common? 50% of their DNA

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How do you stop a black man from running? You shoot his knee caps.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i thought violets were violet. hmph.

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Two guys walk into a bar together. They are diagnosed with a concussion and later on in life have serious brain issues

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Q: What is the first thing you do if you wake up and meet the entire justice league(!!!) Which tells you that you are the "chosen one" and that only you can save the world once your true powers awaken? A: Increase your schizo medication.

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If you want to make the little things count, teach midgets maths!

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Two penguins are in the shower. One of them asks if he can have the soap. The other responds, "What am I, a telephone?"

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Q:why did jimmy fall of a swing? A:Because someone threw a fridge at him

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What's black and white and red all over and can't go through a revolving door? A nun with a spear stuck in her head.

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What do you call a black man, an asian man, and a white man walking down the street? 3 men walking down the street.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems make sense. 5

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Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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Yo mama's chest is so flat that it's because she has stage five breast cancer and had to get both her breasts removed.

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[Insert anti-joke here]

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Why did the cow say moo? Cows can't say anything they actually make noises that humans interpreted as "moo"

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What is easier than making pie? Making cake!

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My mom told me and my brother to lean up on a commercial...we were watching netflix

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Why couldn't the mentally retarded kid hear? It was too dark.

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- How do you save a black man from drowning? - I don't know - Good!

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why do the jewish guy and italian girl talk? i dont know why any decent minded italian would talk to a jew so i don't know.

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What happened to the girl who got an infection from an abortion? She died.

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Yo mama's so fat she got baptized in Sea World.

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What is smarter than a blind Mexican midget of average intelligence? A genius

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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