What's Green and has Wheels? Ian Leighton... I LIED ABOUT THE GREEN

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Q: Billy has 47 pieces of cake, he eats 38. What does he have left? A: Diabetes

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Why did the girl need a peice of gum after spending 20 minutes parked in the truck with her boyfriend? Because she had spent the last 20 minutes eating sweets, which she couldnt let her mom know she had eaten because her mom calls her fat everyday even though she only weighs 110 pounds, and forces her to only eat vegetables.

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Yo mamma so fat that when she gets in bed she gets sleepy

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Why did the little girl cry when she fell off the slide? Because when she fell she hit the dirt ground, cause dust to fly into the air, he eyes started to water in response to keep her eyes from being damaged. The slide however, was taken down, too many children had been hurt while playing on it. The community is now pooling money together in order to build a new playground.

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A ginger, a brunette and a blonde all go to the store. They are checking out and the ginger says to the blonde, "Why did you get that cereal instead of the one on sale?" And the blonde says "Because I have a membership card that gave me a discount on this cereal." The ginger gets out of line to return her cereal because she remembers she too has a membership card. And then the brunette pulls out a gun and shoots them all because she has depression and needs psychiatric help.

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What's the difference between a cow and some dirt? They're the same except for almost everything

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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What did the broom say to the vacuum cleaner? "Your mom sucks."

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter what you call him he isn't coming anyway!!!!

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Q: Why is it when geese fly in a V that one side is longer than the other? A: There are more geese on that side.

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What's brown and sounds like a bell? An old rusted bell.

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whats the difference between 10 Ferrari's and 10 dead babies ? i dont have 10 Ferrari's in my garage

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There are 3 types of people, those that can count and those who can not.

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"You just went and made a new dinosaur?" "And due to its well-developed core muscles the staff behind Jurassic World has called it - 'ABDOMINUS PEX'." "That's a stupid name."

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What do you call a naked couple? Horny.

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Why was billy bad at telling jokes? Billy was sexually abused as a child and humour was never really part of his life

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The diamond one below is hilarious.

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Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he has a great career and a loving family.

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What do you call two Japanese men digging through rubble? Worried family members of missing relatives due to the recent devastating tragedy in the island nation of Japan.

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What is 9+10? 19

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Why was the chubby bird that you were staring at you angry. Because you were looking at him.

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What's brown and sticky? A lump of shit.

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Why did the girl fall off of the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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