Why is the chicken on the road? Cuz he died trying to get to the other side.

What's the difference between apples and oranges? You can't wash a window with a spade.

why did the chicken cross the road? because chickens just walk places. they have no agenda.

Why do asians get good grades? Because they study very hard and want to achieve success so they can provide for their families.

I Couldn't afford a hair cut... so i purpposely contracted HIV

Why couldn't the 11-year old get into the pirate movie? It was rated PG-13.

Knock knock! I'm in the shower, i'll be there in 5 minutes

Whats the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of dead babies? You can't unload one with a pitchfork

Why couldn't the cat drink it's milk? Because it didn't have a face.

Why was the Irishman ejected from the bar? For breaching client-attorney privilege, and the correct term is disbarred.

Why didn't the jew spend his paycheck? He wanted to save money for the future

What's red, black, and green all over? This is! I only wish you could see it too - the website wont let me upload a picture - but it is pretty impressive! Oh well.

How do you kill a clown? You smash his face into a brick.

What's long hard and black A drain pipe

Q: What do you call those assholes who always volunteer in lectures? A: Assholes. Fcuking assholes. They created the word asshole. Assholes

Whats white and can kill you if it falls out of a tree? A refridgerator

Texas! You are doing it the wrong way! Learn from Hitler, gas is cheaper.

Q: What do you call a black person flying a plane? A: A pilot.

What did the boy say to his dad when he realized he was gay? Dad, I'm gay.

What's white, black, red, and flies? An airplane pilot with a battleaxe driven into his head

How did the fat man die? He was fed porrage until he died. Who killed the fat man? Leonardo DaVici How did Leonardo Da Vinci die? Natural causes (Actually I have no idea how Leonardo Da Vici died but if I am wrong please correct me) Thank You for your coperation.

how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? 7

whos on the right track? lady gaga

Knock Knock Who's there? The Police. Come out with your hands up!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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