How many Ethiopian's can you fit in a bathtub? As many as you want, they'd all fall down the drain. JimBoto

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"When there's something srange, in your neighborhood... who you gonna call..?" The cops

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You- I came up with a new word! Friend- What is it? You- Plagiarism.

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What do you call a baby that got hit by a train? Thomas

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's wife? Neither has he.

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How did Debbie get a black eye? Because her dad asked her to take off her pants and she refused so he beat her

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What´s Green and turns Red at your Finger Tips? Frog in a Blender.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. ----- Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Knock Knock. who's there? James. well use the doorbell.

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What is green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree and onto your head, it will kill you? A pool table.

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how do you stop a rhino from charging? you shoot it with a gun until it's either dead or no longer charging at you because thats a highly dangerous situation.

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A blonde, a brunette and a red head are having a discussion on current issues. The brunette says she would like to see improvements in the environment. The red head says she would like to see the economy prosper. The blonde says she has to take a poop.

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Yo mama so fat that when she jumped into a pool she displaced more water than someone who was of a normal weight

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What did Anne Frank say to the German Officer? Nothing. She had to keep quiet in a cramp attic in order to survive.

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Q: What's worse than both of your parents dying in a terrible car accident? A: Sitting in the back seat with your grandparents.

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Why did the old man throw the clock out the window? Because he didn't want to go to a store that could repair it, so then he thought that it was better off on his yard where it could compost.

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What did the raisin say to the toaster? Nothing. The raisin lacks a central nervous system, and the toaster is an inanimate object.

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because chad makes babies cry.

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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What Happens when you shoot a deer? It's Dead

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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You know why Michael J. Fox makes really good milkshakes? ... because he uses the best ingredients

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mary poppins' handbag is full of dick

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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